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Say Hello to Your Nightmare Roster

Posted On 13 Mar 2008 By Bad Kermit. Under: Fantasy Baseball. .

The inaugural Neifiball Fantasy Draft went off tonight with great success. I like the chances of the Sons of Jim Essian. Read this roster, and weep:

C Ivan Rodriguez
C Johnny Estrada
1B Nomar Garciaparra
2B Kazuo Matsui
3B Jose Bautista
SS Felipe Lopez
OF David DeJesus
OF Norris Hopper
OF Dave Roberts
Util. Luis Castillo
Util. Mark Grudzielanek

SP Jeff Suppan
SP Adam Eaton
SP Jose Contreras
SP Josh Fogg
P Jamie Moyer
P Doug Davis

BN Jon Garland
BN Julian Tavarez

It’s going to be a fun year.

http://www.collegeofidiots.com Angry Mike

Laugh…

I have Ankiel on my team. Assuming he survives the season you have no chance.

Angry Mike

http://hirejimessian.com Bad Kermit

Pitching is going to be huge in this league, and I have a hard time believing that anyone can out-suck my starting staff.

bocaj

Well, some of the staffs are worse than yours, but none of them are “better” when viewed through the point system.
StPatrick

Mine will out-suck yours. I went with middle infield and pitching early, then filled in the rest. Missing out on the high-value OFs will be more than made up by catching “real” MLB starting pitchers who do not prevent runs. Middle infield was the area most valuable for guys who don’t contribute to creating runs. Did anybody notice how AL Central heavy all the good lineups are?
Thrillho

Pitching is going to be everything. You’re certainly looking good in the department, but I think College of Idiots and I should both give you a run for your money.

StPatrick

Check this out, and know I was outdone (by “Erie’s…”)

C Ivan Rodriguez
C AJ Pierzynski
1B Alex Gordon
2B Nick Punto (a true hammer in this format)
3B Ryan Zimmerman
SS Tony Pena
OF Craig Monroe
OF Melky Cabrera
OF Bill Hall
UT Rafael Furcal
UT Josh Barfield
BN Korey Patterson
BN David Eckstein (a sentimental “mascot” pick at 19)

and here’s the real money:

SP Adam Eaton
SP Jose Contreras
SP Matt Chico
SP Paul Byrd
P Jamie Moyer
P Miguel Batista

Note that all the pitchers are innings-eaters, with only Eaton and Chico below 189.

This will be a whole lot more fun than picking good players. Neifiball rules!
http://www.herloyalsons.com domer.mq

Wait. Seriously? How’d I miss this?
http://hirejimessian.com Mike D.

I present Zimmer’s Metal Plate

C Ronny Paulino
C Rob Bowen
1B Mike Lamb
2B Ronnie Belliard
3B Andy Laroche
SS Omar Vizquel
OF Juan Pierre
OF Shelley Duncan
OF Maron Anderson
U Jose Vidro
U Adam Laroche
BN Rob Mackowiak

SP Mark Prior
SP Joel Pineiro
SP Shawn Chacon
SP Mark Mulder
P LaTroy Hawkins
P Scott Linebrink
BN Jorge Sosa

That’s right. TWO Laroches.

And whoever is “Expos” and “Partyboy”, nice job ranking your players. Getting all of that blue chip talent like ARod and Jake Peavy will only ensure a lousy season for you. Go suck!
CT

I missed the damn draft, and my team is probably better than mediocre. I did remember to switch the top 150 players into the “do not draft” area, but I still think my team is too good.
PenFoe

No Brett Tomko?
He’s the early Vegas favorite for League MVP.

Hiroki Kuroda for Rookie of the Year.
Thrillho

Let the battle of the tards commence.

I’m pretty happy where Rubby’s boys are sitting, too, gentlemen:

C Paul Lo Duca (Was – C)
C Michael Barrett (SD – C)
1B Mark Loretta (Hou – 1B,2B,3B,SS)
2B Alfredo Amezaga (Fla – 2B,3B,SS,OF)
3B Alberto Callaspo (KC – 2B,3B,SS,OF)
SS Chris G�mez (Pit – 1B,2B,3B,SS)
OF Jay Payton (Bal – OF)
OF Mark Teahen (KC – 1B,OF)
OF Willy Taveras (Col – OF)
Util Yuniesky Betancourt (Sea – SS)
Util Omar Infante (Atl – 2B,3B,SS,OF)

SP Liv�n Hern�ndez (Min – SP)
SP Matt Morris (Pit – SP)
SP Dontrelle Willis (Det – SP)
SP Paul Byrd (Cle – SP)
P Scott Olsen (Fla – SP)
P Kevin Millwood (Tex – SP)

BN Jamey Carroll (Cle – 2B,3B,SS)
BN Miguel Batista (Sea – SP)

Versatility matters, chumps. And I’ve got it in spades.

PenFoe

Actually, it doesn’t matter at all since you only have enough batters for just the batting spots.

http://hirejimessian.com Bad Kermit

What is Jamey Carroll, chopped liver?

Thrillho

One would hope.

Thrillho

Point being…

a) Roster moves are easier. Should some of these guys up and overperform, I can bench/drop them and not have to worry about having to dredge up guys who qualified for a particular position.

b) Trades ought to prove easier for the same reason.

c) Most importantly, though: ABs matter, but may prove hard to come by for shitty players. Versatile guys get more opportunities for ABs, even when they find themselves in the cellar of the depth chart.

But, honestly… it’s gonna be all about pitching anyways.

bocaj

Dude speaks the truth…

Dan

OK; Read ‘em and weep.

Yorvit Torrealba
Kurt Suzuki
Dan Ortmeier
Esteban German
Adam Everett
Cesar Isturis
Mark Kostsay
Kevin Frandsen
Brian Anderson

Carlos Silva
Garrett Olsen
Adam Lowen
Anthoney Reyes
Mark Buehrle
John VanBenschoten
JackB

It’s not Neifi Ball, but if anyone’s interested, I have a Yahoo league that needs some managers. I totally overestimated the level of interest at my new job. So far I’ve only got four teams in a ten team league. I’d like to at least get four more teams involved. It’s head to head scoring, pretty simple stuff.

The league ID is 101718 and the password is tommy. Feel free to sign up.

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