Hire Jim Essian

Well, another Mardi Gras has come and gone, and you guys probably still haven't seen a pair of boobs in your lifetime. Get a tan, nerds! Anyhow, it's Roundup time. I see Curt Schilling might need surgery. I hope when the surgeon has him under that he takes the opportunity to sew his fucking mouth shut. If Ryan Klesko ... Read More

Believe it or not, it's about that time of year to start thinking about your fantasy baseball team. Last year, HJE made a late attempt to put together a fantasy league in which everyone tries to assemble the worst possible team of everyday players. This year, I'm determined to get that league together and to call it the ... Read More

I realized today that there's no way I'm going to be able to fit all of the pictures and descriptions I have of my recent Cooperstown trip into one post, so I'm going to go ahead and divide them into three posts. First, I need to thank Mrs. Kerm for coming up with such a completely fantastic gift and ... Read More

Thanks to the heavy lifting of the incomparable TJ Brown, we are able to present an additional 5 HBP's for the list below.�� Since TJ knocked Sherman out of the way and joined Mister�Peabody for a ride in the "Wayback Machine", we're actually able to make this addition to the original list the "World Series Edition".� They'll be listed here ... Read More

Last week we presented to you the "Top 20 Blown Saves" Carrying on the "mindless exercises in banal list-making" routine, I humbly present to you this list. I couldn't make it a "Top 20"--hell I had a hard enough time thinking up 10--but a list is still a list. So grab a beer, sit back and ... Read More

A day late, and a lot of dollars shorter than when I left, I'm back from Cooperstown and standing in a bar in New York City to watch the Giants depants the Patriots. Awesome. I have a lot of catching up to do, but I plan on sharing a hell of a lot of great pictures soon. ... Read More

Dear Bill: I may not be the best student of history, but didn't the '86 Celtics win it all? I like how you simply couldn't wait to draw up your little love letter to the Patriots last month, so you went ahead and tempted fate by comparing them to that Celtics team anyway. Never mind that for all of ... Read More

Presumably, I have made it to Cooperstown by now. I will have a full report of the fun next week. For now, you'll have to settle for a Cooperstown edition of the Fukudome. Two men enter. One man leaves. {democracy:14} ... Read More

O, Lord, I understand that you hate me. The last five years of postseason baseball has taught me that if we ever meet, you're likely to spit in my mouth. I'm okay with that. But, Lord, I implore you to reconsider your current stance of being a total bitch. You see, o Merciful One, I'm supposed to go to ... Read More