MESA, Ariz.–As pitchers and catchers around the league reported to camp on Wednesday, one Chicago Cub pitcher had quite a bit to say. Ryan Dempster, former closer and potential starter for the Cubs, shared a few thoughts about his team’s potential going into the 2008 season.

“I think we’re going to win the World Series,” Dempster said, as he effortlessly short-sheeted fellow pitcher Jon Lieber’s bed. Lieber was signed by the Cubs in the offseason to compete with Dempster and Jason Marquis for a spot in the Cubs rotation behind Carlos Zambrano, Ted Lilly, and Rich Hill.

“I really do,” Dempster continued, as he carefully balanced a bucket of cold water atop a partially-ajar door. “I wouldn’t have worked as hard as I did and everybody worked as hard as they did to not believe that,” Dempster said, picking up a box of Saran Wrap and heading toward the outhouses.

“It’s funny when people make predictions and say things, and people say, ‘How can you say that?’” Dempster said, as he began wrapping the outhouse toilet seat in layer after layer of Saran Wrap before depositing a decaying fish under the floorboards of the outhouse.

“Enough of the curse this, the curse that, the goat this, the black cat, the 100 years, whatever it is. We’re a better team than we were last year, I truly believe, and last year we made it to the playoffs and it was a battle to make it. I just feel our chances are better,” Dempster emphatically said, as he drilled a peephole in the side of the girls’ shower room before returning to his own cabin.

“It’s not just going to happen, it’s not a gimme,” he said, entering his cabin and pulling a large bullfrog from his back pocket. “We have to work our tails off to do it. I like our team and I like where we’re at. I truly believe the guys in there want it as much as anything,” Dempster smiled, placing the bullfrog snugly into Bob Howry’s left boot.

Baseball is finally back. Are you ready for it?