What’s up, losers? You know, I really didn’t think I’d miss Jon McDonough almost immediately after he left. Then, I saw our new ad campaign.

This frag is wacist.

Seems a poor choice of flags. As the guys at Desipio pointed out (and Corn-Fed a/k/a Thrillho illustrated), what’s next?
Emancipate!

Well, I can tell you one thing that’s next. The Friday Roundup. Oh, and by the way, I’m moved on from “K-Fuck,” and I’m all about Dolan’s nickname for Kosuke: “Fukkake.”

  • Some of you guys may have seen domer.mq around these parts before. Well, he runs a hell of a Notre Dame blog called HerLoyalSons.com, and he’s a good friend of mine. If you want to help him out as well as piss off a humorless douchebag who writes about Michigan, go here and vote for HLS in a bunch of different categories.
  • The MLB 2008 schedule is out. Thanks a lot to the people at MLB for providing me with such an easily-comprehensible schedule. I’ll just fold this baby up, stick it in my wallet, and pull it out whenever I need to have a seizure.
  • The Cub Reporter found two nifty videos. The first is of Fukkake making Josh Beckett look like slightly more of a bitch than he generally does. The second is of Jim Hendry getting an erection over pie. No, wait. I meant Pie.
  • I see the marketing department has figured out yet another legal way to grossly overcharge for tickets. I’m going to that auction with one of those paddles. On the face of the paddle will be a picture of my balls.
  • Apparently, Fukkake wasn’t a good addition just because he’s a left-handed bat. He’s Japanese, so no one can possibly predict whether or not he’s any good, apparently. What the hell is the point of this story? That our five-hitters sucked last year? Yeah. We know.
  • Fred Mitchell thinks that Hendry will still add more pieces, and then proceeds to mention Shannon Stewart, Kenny Lofton, and Marlon Byrd BEFORE he mentions Erik Bedard and Brian Roberts? I don’t know if that’s refreshing or just racist.
  • I definitely think they should build a big hotel next to Wrigley Field. That way everyone knows where to order the 4:00 a.m. wakeup calls when the Cardinals are in town.
  • In case you didn’t notice, Wuertz is back. Marmol is pumped, because he’s not the ugliest guy in the bullpen.
  • Lilly apparently threatened to make Carlos into a skin suit, so now Lilly is going to be the Opening Day starter.
  • Finally, here is your comprehensive list of what the hell is wrong with all of you sick perverts.

Anyhow, stay warm this weekend, jerks. At least try to last until Monday, when it’s supposed to be 85 degrees, or something. The weather here is ridiculous.

-Sweet Uncle Lou