Am I fortunate enough to only know articulate, well-educated Cubs fans, or is The Muskrat unfortunate enough to only get questions from the cross-section of Cubs fans still convinced that David Kelton will return to the Cubs to displace Aramis Ramirez at third base? If the questions below are the best she could find when she dug into the Mailbag, she could at least take a page from Al Jaffee and come up with some snappy answers to these stupid questions. Since she didn’t, I will.
With Jon Lieber and possibly Ryan Dempster added to the rotation, what are they going to do with Jason Marquis, Rich Hill and Sean Marshall? And what about young guys like Kevin Hart and Sean Gallagher? Is there a chance Marquis and/or Hill won’t even make the rotation?
– Jonathan R., Lake Bluff, Ill.
You’re doubting whether or not Rich Hill, the guy who led the team in strikeouts, had the second-best ERA of the starting staff, and whose curveball made more than a handful of Major League hitters look like total assholes, is going to be back in the rotation? Who are you, Chuck?
I’m a big Lieber fan, but if it was my $3.5 million, I think I would have taken a gamble on four months of Mark Prior in 2008. Is Lieber at this stage of his career really a safer option given his history of injuries?
– Richard H., Burlington, Conn.
Well, I’m sure the makers of Magic: The Gathering, YooHoo, and anime porn are thrilled to hear that you’re not going to waste your $3.5 million on Jon Lieber.
The acquisition of Lieber and his 13-1 record at Wrigley back in 2000 reminded me of Rick Sutcliffe winning 15 in 1984. What other Cub hurlers have loved to take the mound at home?
– Ekim K., Monterey, Calif.
Good analogy, except for a few minor things:
- Lieber was acquired prior to the 1999 season, not during the 2000 season.
- Lieber was 6-5 at Wrigley in 2000 and 6-6 away.
- Lieber didn’t have a great big bushy beard like Sutcliffe did.
Close, though. I guess they don’t have the internet in California yet, huh?
As to your question, why don’t I just give you some examples of pitchers who HATE pitching at Wrigley instead? LaTroy Hawkins, Shawn Estes, Will Ohman, Antonio Alfonseca.
I have been a Matt Murton fan from the start. I think he is a talented ballplayer with a very bright future ahead of him. The likelihood of that future being with the Cubs, however, seems to be shrinking rapidly. I would be sad to see him go but it seems unfair to have such a promising player spend another season sitting on the bench. What do you think the chances are that the Cubs will let go of Murton?
– Lizzy K., New Market, Va.
“Promising player”? About the only thing he promises to do is make 30 errors a season in the outfield. I would say the chances of Murton getting traded are hovering somewhere around 100%.
I can’t wait for Jeff Samardzija to make it to the bigs, but I was wondering how you pronounce his name?
– Doug O., Kalamazoo, Mich.
How do I pronounce it? “töd WELL-mī-yer”
With the Cubs and WGN being owned by the Tribune, and them selling the Cubs, how will this affect the games televised on WGN? Will they air the same number of games as the White Sox do now?
– Josh B., Granville, Ill.
Get cable, you cheap bastard.
With Will Ohman gone, there is only one lefty in the pen — Scott Eyre. Why didn’t the Cubs show any interest in getting a southpaw for the ‘pen? What is expected of Neal Cotts, Sean Marshall and Carmen Pignatiello?
– Hugo A., San Juan, P.R.
Perhaps the Cubs aren’t as concerned about the lack of lefties in the bullpen because they have eighty lefties fighting it out for a rotation spot. I expect Neal Cotts to go back to working at a record store, Sean Marshall to cry himself to sleep at night knowing that the Cubs think Dempster is a better rotation option than he is, and Carmen Pignatiello to open an Italian restaurant.
I saw the write-up on Jody Davis and the tarp belly-flopping on Aug. 8, 1988. I was one of the 13 fans arrested that night for following the lead of the Cubs players, and let me say, if I could do it over again, I absolutely would. Fifty bucks and a disorderly conduct charge on my record was well worth the memory, especially after being so excited to be at the first night game ever at Wrigley Field. I can still see Ricky Jordan of the Phillies leading off the game with a homer off Rick Sutcliffe like it was yesterday. I can’t believe that was 20 years ago this August! I have my arrest report framed, along with the ticket stub, and recall the story proudly whenever I have company.
– Tim L., Phoenix
After you got arrested, did you “come up with” an idiotic slogan like “It’s Gonna Happen,” which made you look like a dickhole and nearly caused a fistfight between me and your best friend? No? Okay, good.
I am a lifelong Cub fan and Ryne Sandberg is my all-time favorite. My son bought me a “W” flag for Christmas and I would like to get Ryno’s signature. Any thoughts on how to get him to sign it?
– Kingston B., Fallston, Md.
I’m not sure, but if you do get him to sign it, I guarantee it will say, “Dear Kingston: Seriously? Kingston?”
I noticed that when the Cubs traded Cesar Izturis to the Pirates, the Cubs were to get a player to be named to complete the trade. I haven’t seen any updates on any players the Cubs received from the Pirates. Are they still waiting for a player?
– Eric S., Des Moines, Iowa
They got cash for him and the peace of mind that comes with knowing that their balloon knots were once again safe. Fair trade.
Does Ryan Harvey have any chance of making the Major League roster in the next couple of years? He was supposedly a five-tool player when he was drafted but has yet to live up to his potential.
– Tony B., Chicago
New to this team? Harvey put up a .237/.262/.423 line last year in rookie and A ball. As a 22-year-old. Injuries or not, that sucks balls. Do you really want him up here in the next couple of years?
How is Sam Zell able to have bought the Tribune Co. and Cubs? He is a part owner of the White Sox (small portion). I thought it was against the rules to have any kind of say in two teams.
– Dana B., Woodridge, Ill.
Way to point that out and provide your address. I expect we won’t be hearing from “Dana B.” ever again.
When will tickets for the 2008 season go on sale?
– Peter S., Columbia City, Ind.
Don’t bother. You’ll only be able to find seats for games that Dempster starts.
