It’s almost here, folks. The 100-year anniversary of the last time this bunch of losers won a World Series. Even if they win it this year, they’ve already clinched having gone 100 years without having won one. Yikes. Anyhow, this has been a slow week, so here’s a slow, boring Roundup. That’s what you get.

• Now that Mark Prior is officially no longer a Cub, it’s my new stance to make fun of him at every possible opportunity.
• Just when you think the GMs in the NL Central couldn’t possibly get any dumber, the Astros do something like this… What? That’s it. It’s a really dumb move.
• In other ex-Cub news, I’m sure LaTroy Hawkins will handle the New York press with class, dignity, and style. Wait, they still have low standards for baseball in New York, right?
• Carrie Muskat gets an exclusive interview with THE UNTOUCHABLE Sam Fuld, and spends the entire time asking hard-hitting questions like, “Colored lights, or white?”
• We had a little pow-wow regarding the naming rights for Wrigley Field. This is the best we could do.
• Since we’re a little light on links, think of this as a pre-death obituary for 95% of the Cardinals fans you know. I don’t think anyone can top Francis Bacon.

Well, kids, that’s it for me until next week. Have a happy and, more importantly, SAFE New Year’s Eve/Day. Seriously, don’t be stupid. Cab fare is a shit-ton cheaper than bail money or a casket. Ask LaRussa and Hancock! Ha ha haa!

-Sweet Uncle Lou