I’m still a bit exhausted from the season, so I’m going to take a lazy man’s approach to the next couple days of blogging. Lou will post tomorrow, and the T79 will be much more frequent in the offseason, but I need to recharge my batteries a bit over the next couple of days.
With that said, you guys do the work. For shits and giggles, let’s assume the Cubs have an owner sometime before December (impossible, I know, but necessary for any sort of discussion). How would you improve the outfield? Who goes? Who stays?
LF Alfonso Soriano, CF Felix Pie, RF Alex Rodriguez
LF Manny Ramirez, CF Alfonso Soriano, RF William Shatner
LF Alfonso Sorianus
CF Andruw Jones
RF Mark DeRosa
1B DLee
2B Theriot
SS Alex Rodriguez
3B Aramis
C Geovany Soto
P Any shitbag b/c we’ll score 25 runs a game
I figure it’s about time for me to start starting. There’s just one thing: I play, Angel stays. He goes, I go.
Alphonso Ribiero, Felix Pye, Myself…we’ll combine to hit upwards of 45-50 homers. That’s big time. Get used to it.
Now, where’s my string cheese?
LF Soriano, CF My Mom, RF Peter Griffin.
No, seriously…you already know what you have in LF. Soriano is Soriano. He will throw out your stupid base-taking attempts, and bunny hop all your stupid fly balls into put outs. He’ll hit near 30-35 HR’s a year, and with a move down in the lineup, could bring in 90-100 RBI.
CF, to me, is dependent on what happens in RF. For instance, if the Cubs decide to throw Thunder Matt out there, then an upgrade will most certainly be needed. I know, I know…what about Pie? I’ll get to that. If Thunder is the RF, then the Cubs could do a few things:
a) Throw Pie out there and hope you hit the Hunter Pence lottery with him.
b) Trade Pie and other talent for an upgrade in CF. Aaron Rowand comes to mind.
Or, if they decide to go with Pie in CF, they could sign a free agent and move that signee into RF, with Murton being the 4th man or being traded himself.
What would I do? Well, it’s probably an unpopular scenerio, but I’d go with Felix and Thunder until the All-Star Break, then go from there. So, there you have it Kerm. Your lazy man’s solution to the outfield.
Sosiano–Pie–Strawberry
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, can’t you guys take anything seriously?
Also, that’s my outfield from left to right.
BK, you must really need a break.
You want another (and older) Alou in left?
Prior in center?
And while I can how it would make it easier to heckle him, Morgan doesn’t know anything about the outfield (or much else for that matter). Plus, I’m really worried he might play EXTREMELY shallow to show his double play abilities.
Oh, and my outfield would be Soriano, Andrew Jones, and Vlad. Should score 10 runs a game AND have 3-4 assists a game.
I’m starting to jump on the Bobby Abreu bandwagon. Much of his power is gone, but he still has the good eye, OBP, and decent base-stealing ability (25 last year in the American League? Wow.) that “leadoff guys gotta have, dude.” If Soriano wasn’t such a prima donna, you could lead Abreu off, hit DeRosa or Lee 2nd, and then have some combination of Aramis, Soriano, and Lee or DeRosa batting 3-5. You could easily live with Jock or Pie in CF if Soriano and Abreu were the corner guys.
I would have Alfonso Soriano in left field,
John Fogerty in Centerfield,
and Mark DeRosa in Right field.
Trade Soriano and Monroe for Pirate Nate Mclouth. Not because he’s an outstanding cf but because I had him in class his soph. year of high school…and bring me the head of Moises Alou
And of course, if we could get Tom Veryzer to come out of retirement to play a little ss that would be great too.
Trade El Strap, trade for Ryan Church, don’t resign Floyd
At 28 he already is a more patient hitter than Jones (who will be 33), has a better OBP, has a higher ceiling the next couple of years, and can actually hit the ball into the air past the inflield.
Opening Day: Sori/Pie/Murton, if Pie/Murton struggle extensively, Church is right there and is already used to playing CF
I’m going to spend a lot of money this year so this is my 25 man roster.
CF-Andruw
LF-Alphonso
RF-Manny
1B-Lee
2B-DeRosa (why not)
3B-Aramis
SS-A-Rod
C-Soto
C-Hank
IF-Theriot
IF-Fontenot
OF-Felix
OF-Pagan
SP-Zambrano
SP-Pettite
SP-Lilly
SP-Marquis
SP-Prior
RP-Marmol
RP-Eyre
RP-Hart
RP-Howry
RP-Woody
RP-Dempster
RP-Mariano
Barring the trading for or signing of a established major league CFer, I think the Cubs are going to give Eric Patterson every opportunity to make the club next year. He should be considered part of the mix too. The sending him home because he arrived late was Lou’s way of saying “Get your shit together and show up next spring with your big boy undies on or you will end up like your loser brother”.
I would keep Soriano in left field but petition for a rules change that allows for a 4th outfielder to shadow him who can actually catch the ball, then flip it to Sori to fire back into the infield.
I like what Sam Fuld can do in right field and his fearlessness in the face of oncoming ivy.
I think we’ve tried to get Church before. I’d love to have him, but I’m not sure Bowden will part with him for a reasonable offer.
I say we open with Soriano, Pie, and Murton. I’d love to get Fukudome to play right and use Thunder Matt off the bench, where he’s been a monster, but I’m not sure the new owners will be in place soon enough for us to really do any dealing this off season. I also think we should hold on to Super Jock in case Pie struggles again. I know he’s not the greatest, but he actually seemed to play better in center than in right. He still can’t throw, but you don’t seem to notice it as much from the CF position as you do when he’s in right. I honestly think this years lack of power was an aberration and he’ll be back to hitting 20-25 HRs next year. He’ll still strike out a ton, but what can you do. He’s still a pretty good bargain and for some reason I really want to like him. Sick right?
Rumor has it the Pirates wouldn’t be completely opposed to dealing Jason Bay. Bay had a down year, but I’d love to have him. Put him in left, move Sori to right, and then see what happens with Pie.
I liked that one catch that Sam Fuld made too, but I don’t give him a roster spot based on it.
My last name is very close to being McLovin.
Sign my ass.
Here’s a marker, just sign the right cheek.
Thanks a bunch.
Jason Bay would certainly be interesting.
No, wait. I hate the Canadians on this roster enough already.
That’s only because we don’t have any good Canadians. Chrissake, Jason Bay’s sister pitches better than Ryan Dempster. Maybe he could talk her into coming with him.
Speaking of Canadian outfielders, when I party, I make Ryan Dempster’s ‘drinking binges’ look like a 8-year old girl’s tea party
Soriano – Jerome Walton – Dwight Smith.
Let’s leave Marvelle Wynne out of this.
Soriano, Rowand, Fuckdome
As long as we get the Fuck Dome, my season will be made.
I would put Joseph in center because I think he has a tad more range than Mary…
Jesus, like our current leftfielder, can’t hit a curveball. So we’d be gaining nothing by the move….nothing.
We’d gain more range… Like I said. Jesus’s plate discipline has nothing to do with how slow Mary has become…
I always told you I could do your job but ain’t no way you could do mine.
Here’s your 2008 outfield, &^%#suckers:
RF– That fatassed hambeast buttermonster Jay Marriotti. Let’s see him get out and shag a few fly balls. Let’s watch him get drilled right in his spaghetti hole with one of my fastballs and let’s watch him bawl big blubbery buttery tears.
CF: Juan Pierre. He’s the Juan for you, fatties. Not much would make me happier than watching him make out after out at the top of your lineup while misplaying balls off the ivory in the outfield.
LF: Chip Caray: Dumb bastard wears enough Tommy Bahama cologne to wilt that ivory for once and for all. You may think he’s too slow to play the outfield, but if he just shaves off those 50 pound eyebrows he’s going to get a whole lot faster. We’re talking possibly Keith Moreland fast. And if he spent as much time in the batting cage as he spends trying to learn to play Evenflow on that piece of #%$ guitar he traded his roommate at boarding school a dimebag to get, we’re talking about possibly a .220 hitter.
Trade Soriano to pick up Erstad. You #%$@suckers can never have enough scruffy intangibles on your team.
HA HA HA enjoy your outfield. You’re welcome.
LF – Soriano
CF – Pie
RF – Abreu or Fukudome
I’d rather have someone else in CF, but the only free agent CF out there worth spending money on is Andruw Jones, and that’s just assuming it’s pre-2007 Andruw Jones. But he’s going to be getting a massive contract, so if we sign him, there’s no chance of signing ARod.
If Jesus, Mary and Joseph are staying in the Heaven League than I would agree with Weebs…
Mary has a better arm than Jock, so that’s a nice upgrade there.
Jesus could help with bunting – nobody can sacrifice like he does.
What did you just call me???
Did someone say Marvell Wynne? I’ll kick his ass all over again.
Here’s my outfield:
Soriano in left, Pie in center and Earl Cunningham in right (he’s due)
RF – Me
CF – Apex
LF – Bill
I would put all my in-fielders into the outfield to try and cut down on doubles and triples.
Jesus would have to be the closer, because Jesus saves.
Mary is a starting pitcher, goddammit, because you need a starting pitcher that nobody fucks with. And nobody fucks with the Virgin Mary, literally or figuratively.
Joseph is the catcher. First, he can field any of the shit Mary dishes out. If your fiance comes to you and says she’s pregnant and she’s a virgin and God did it and her kid is going to be the Christ, and you can take that shit with a straight face, then you can catch the filthiest curve ball, the craziest knuckle ball, and the slickest slider going. Second, dude’s a carpenter. Makes his own bats. Third, he’s got an arm like a rocket from all the jerking off he does to keep from fucking with his virgin wife. Nuff said.
Jesus, as my brother Random has said, is the lock at closer. Jesus saves. He’s so damn good at it, he could come in the top of the 9th with the Cubs DOWN 5 runs, and by the time he steps off the mound we’d have won the game without even having to bat.
This means we can move Z to RF, Babe Ruth-style. Let him channel all that emotion into raking. You know he could hit 60 over the wall on rage-fuelled adrenaline alone.
We send Murton to L.A. for Vlad, because the City of Angels got to do whatever Jesus says, so screw them, and that’s CF.
Soriano in left.
Soto as backup catcher.
And may God have mercy on the rest of the Central Divison.
Religiousist.
LF – Soriano
CF – Kurt Warner
RF – Murton
I don’t know. There seems to be a nice batch of CF’s available this offseason. We should try to land one of them. Doesn’t Jock Jones despise Torii Hunter? I say we get him.
i’m eric. joining a couple boards and looking
forward to participating. hehe unless i get
too distracted!
eric
Hello,
I’m Gerry.
Just saying hi – I’m new.