Archive for October, 2007
Happy Halloween!
One Last Go at Dusty (Until Next Week)
Oh, Dusty Baker. When Chris Deluca writes an article about you, and you manage to appear stupider than Deluca, it’s time to hang them up. Deluca’s in quotes. Mine not in quotes.
Long-Suffering Red Sox Fans Lament “Curse of the Terrible Hangover”
BOSTON–Less than twelve hours after watching their team sweep the Colorado Rockies to clinch its second World Series title in the past four years, Boston fans were finding new things to complain about. “I had to get up for work at seven in the morning,” said 22-year-old Sox fan Will Nichols, who claims to have [...]
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Convincing Anita to Dress as a Slutty Nurse” Edition
Well, Halloween is right around the corner, and I’m sure you dopes haven’t gotten your costumes together yet. Don’t worry. Sweet Uncle Lou is here to provide you with some last-minute costume ideas.
The Offseason is Boring, So Let’s Mock The Muskrat
I saw on a different blog (I can’t remember which, and I’m too lazy to look) a writer making up their own answers to the questions asked in the Cubs Mailbag. That’s fun. You know what’s more fun, though? Making up questions for The Muskrat’s answers.
Top 79 #69: “Against the Cubs, He’s As Good As” AUgie Ojeda
What sort of sick world do we live in when a guy like Augie Ojeda shows up on a list of the Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time? What sort of depraved God makes a 5’8″, 165-pound-soaking- wet midget like Ojeda an absolute nightmare for the Cubs? On what dark planet does Augie Ojeda [...]
The Lazy Blogger’s Offseason Improvement Thread: The Bullpen
You know the drill. Who goes? Who stays? How many relievers can Dempster cram into a phone booth?
Chicago Deserves Better than This
Chicago is a huge sports market with a rabid fan base, long-tenured, traditional teams, and a history of classic sports tales, for better or worse. So, why the hell are Chicagoans still putting up with horseshit writers like Rick Morrissey? In Morrissey’s latest nonsensical column, he defends Dusty Baker, of all people. He’s in quotes, [...]
As a Token of Our Goodwill We Present You a Gift: This Douchebag
Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox on reaching the World Series for the second time in the last four seasons! We here at HJE couldn’t be happier for “The Nation”! From Bill Simmons to Ben Affleck, there are few fans more deserving of another trip to the World Series than those fans who paak theya [...]
Top 79 #70: Will “You Kindly Stop Ruining the 1989 Playoffs?” Clark
Will Clark was a great baseball player. He had a career .303/.384/.494 line. He was patient at the plate, solid in the field, and a six-time All Star. Clark tore up the league, in fact. He had a great deal of success against every team in the National League except for the Chicago Cubs. Cub [...]
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