WOOOOOO! WOOOOOOO HOOOOOO! I swiped that little turd Sullivan’s iPhone so I could say hi to all you celebrating little internerds from the madhouse that is the locker room right now! I don’t know why the hell you’re sitting there on your computer instead of motorboating some chick with big titties, but more power to you!

Can you feel it? Can you feel it? Did you get a little tear in your eye when Dempster got the double play to end our game? Did you notice that Zambrano is getting white hot at exactly the right time? Did you jump off your couch and wake up the dog when Spicoli Khalil Greene iced the Brewers’ season with a bomb?

How did Santo sound during the game? I only saw him afterward. That, my friends, was the face of pure jubilation. I couldn’t tell if it was because of the wet t-shirt contest Gail Fischer had in the middle of the locker room, or because of the win, but who fucking cares?

We all blamed it on the champagne stinging our eyes, but I’m pretty sure there were some tears in the locker room tonight. Savor this moment.

I’m taking applications for starters for tomorrow’s game, so make sure to get them in to me. The new season starts Wednesday, kids. Quit your jobs, leave your wives, and board up your windows. It’s game time.

We’re in the postseason. Let’s go win 11 more.