To honor International Talk Like a Pirate Day, this be the post whar the gnashing of tooth, swilling of grog, and lamenting the state of the Cubs be going. If yar upset by the current state of the Cubs, let it all out. Here’s what be making me eyepatch itch:
- Zambrano can have himself a quick drop and a sudden stop, if ye know what I mean.
- Pujols waits until his team be out of it before hurting himself. Whar were ye injuries for the Carrrrrrdinals’ four games against the Cubs?
- The Star-Gazers be having a mighty suspicious rotation against the Brewers this week.
- TDubbs found an arrrrrrticle about the captain of the ship.
- The Redbeards be cryin’ about losin’ a game.
- Ye may be seein’ more of Soto before the season be done.
- No one be talkin’ about how the Cubs might go worst-to-first this year, save one.
- Soriano looks like he be runnin’ with a peg leg.
I hope ye be enjoyin’ the game tonight, landlubbers. You know Cesarrrrr is a Pirate now. Try to keep yar fingers away from each other’s keel-holes.
I think DeRosa deserves better than the B that article gave him. It can be argued he’s actually been our MVP this year. He’s played nearly every position, and despite a lengthy stretch where he was driving in almost nobody, he still has very good numbers on the year. 5/5 days will do that to you, but still. If he had more HRs on the year, this wouldn’t even be a debate.
What has two thumbs and finally got props in an article??????????????
THIS GUY
Robots don’t say “ye”.
Where’s the picture of Lou dressed like a pirate?
Oh jesus Weebs, Derosa is a nice player, but don’t get carried away. Ramirez, Soriano, Lee, Lilly, Hill, Marmol, Zambrano are all worth more than Derosa, which would negate his MVP status. Derosa is giving us about exactly what we thought he was gonna give us, but he still has a serious lack of power. His slugging percentage is .422. There are 10 other 2B in the league I’d rather have this year than him.
Mark, you’ve been cranky lately. You okay? You want to go get an ice cream?
I’d also like to see that list of 10 second basemen in the league you’d rather have. If you say “The Beej,” you lose a million Man Points.
Why ye not be talkin’ like a Pirate in the comments section?
Also, we need a homerun by ARRRRRAmis Ramirez.
Yarrrrr, I don’t know what I’m doin’.
Arr, due to that scalawag Harang, we all be pretty well fucked, mateys. Tied for first again with a bunch of cheese eating drunks who keep throwing the boot of their miserable throats.
Warn’t it Dante hisself who said “Abandon hope, all ye who enterrr”? Welcome abarrrd the continuin’ purrrgatory that be Cub fandom. Aye, ye’ll pay. Ye’ll aaaaalllllllllllllll pay, I swear it by me own soul.
Fun Fact: Today’s post is 37% funnier if you read it out loud in a pirate voice.
I’m always cranky but ice cream would do the trick. I’d rather have Polanco (but am marveled at the pelvis he has on his head), Utley, Pedroia, Blow Job Upton, Jeff Kent’s Mustache, Kelly Johnson, Brandon Phillips, Cano, an injured Orlando Hudson, Cano, Dan Ugly, Brian Roberts…is that 10? He’s just not the MVP of this team. Aramis is, Lilly 2nd, Marmol 3rd, me 4th because I have a Ben Sheets voodoo doll.
Oh. When you said “league,” I thought you meant NATIONAL. Keep in mind that Kent might as well not bring a glove into the field. And you listed Cano twice.
There is only one MVP of this team as long as Aramis still breathes.