Aww, poor ESPN. Their “feel-good” story of the year, the comeback of Rick “Vaughn” Ankiel, has turned into a “he felt me there, there, and there, and then I started crying” story. The “heroic” comeback of Rick Ankiel was apparently done on more than desire and soul patches. Good old Wild Thing was apparently taking enough HGH during his comeback to turn a miniature pony into just a normal-sized pony.

I believe Ankiel’s linking to illegal substances makes for the 100th player to play under Tony LaRussa so linked, making The Genius eligible for a free steroid cocktail. Congratulations, Tony!

Seriously, isn’t someone going to take a long look at LaRussa at some point? He coached two of the most famous juicers in MLB history, Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire, at the prime of their bathroom stall success. He coached Scott Spiezio until he went to rehab. He’s currently coaching Albert Pujols. I’m not saying. I’m just saying. And he’s had two players die on his watch in drug- and alcohol-related incidents.

Also, I hate him.

It would sure be nice if the MLB would act swiftly on Ankiel, particularly since Ryan Dempster single-handedly let the Thirdinals back to within one game of the Cubs.

*Thanks to Weebs, Ned Ryerson, and TDubbs for the links (all of which were actually different)