I Hate Clowns
Posted by Bad Kermit on Thu, Sep 6, 2007
Let this be the therapeutic Ryan Dempster Hate Thread. I’ll start. I hate you, Ryan Dempster. When everyone defends you, I am your anti-defender. I blame you for all things wrong with this team and with society in general. I hate everything about you. You’re the loud, unfunny frat boy in the corner of the bar shouting across the room to his “bro.” No one gives a fuck how drunk you got last night, you mindless sack of crap, and nobody cares that you’re drinking Red Bull and vodkas, unless they’re laced with cyanide. You’re the guy who puts up MySpace pictures depicting you with your arm thrown oh-so-casually around hot girls. You don’t know those girls, but you asked them to pose with you, so you could look cool. I have news for you. When you look like Danny Bonaduce, you have no chance of ever being cool, so stop trying. You wear ironic t-shirts, don’t you, Ryan Dempster? Shit like, “40 AND LOVING IT!” I know you do. I bet you have a South Carolina “COCKS” hat, even though you wouldn’t make their baseball team. There is not a doubt in my mind that you’re the guy on the team who does “dick tricks” in the locker room, annoying and disturbing your fellow teammates. When Ryan Theriot is walking past you, do you flick his balls? I’m quite certain you do.
Please, Ryan Dempster, for the sake of my sanity, please go away.
BigFlax
StPatrick
PenFoe
CT
Bocaj
September 6th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Ryan Dempster is a contemptible curr.
September 6th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
Ryan Dempster pitches like a dairy farmer.
September 6th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
When the wind blows out, KEEP THE BALL DOWN ASSCLOWN!
Everytime I pull for the Garbage Dumpster, he breaks my heart. I was one of the few saying he should get another shot at closing and no matter how awful he does, I still root for the assclown. But not anymore. YOU SUCK DUMPSTER. RUN INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE DAN RYAN EXPRESSWAY AT 5:00 THIS AFTERNOON!
September 6th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Ooh, let’s make him a starter! Then he can START games by giving up 4 runs in one inning!
September 6th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
This sucks
Hopefully Andre Either is isn’t the Victor Diaz of 2007, and Ryan Dempster isn’t the, uh….., Ryan Dempster of 2007.
September 6th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
AB, Ethier’s home run had that “Victor Diaz” feeling to it, didn’t it?
Shiver.
September 6th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
I didn’t see it, fortunately I’m trapped in the cube farm and only caught the Yahoo update. First Ohman and now Dempster. Why are these guys still Cubs? Especially when we have Marmol’s sick arm on this staff. Yeah, yeah, if we move Marmol to the 9th, who covers the 7th. Uh, how about Kerry Wood? Michael Weurtz? Carmen Pignatiello? Aren’t those fuckers still on this team? I’m sick of this hockey loving knucklehead. Dempster, you’re not funny. Only Will Ohman thinks you’re funny and he’s borderline retarded!
September 6th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
This is why I was so pissed off that Hendry didn’t get bullpen help before the trading deadline. Just because they hadn’t blown many saves lately and look okay on paper doesn’t mean that the bullpen didn’t suck. This is like a guy whose brakes are squeaking, then they stop squeaking because they’re ground down to the rotor and he thinks, “shit, guess that problem went away on its own” and continuing to drive until he ends up careening through an intersection into a bar full of Cubs fans, engulfing them all in flames and twisted wreckage.
September 6th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
I still like Marmol, though, he can stay.
September 6th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
You bastard!!! He probably has butt sex with himself yeah hes that fucking stupid. Goddamnit!!!!!!!!
September 6th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
My nomination for best shout box insult, is he licks the sweat of a dead man’s balls.
September 6th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Ryan Dempster can die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.
September 6th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
That bastard makes me ashamed to be canadian. He should have got into lacrosse or some other bullshit northern sport instead.
September 6th, 2007 at 10:00 pm
Deport the mother fucker
September 6th, 2007 at 11:01 pm
before I headed into work today I heard on the radio the hr from soriano and figured that they had the game in the bag. I leave work and find out they lose on the account of dumpster..god damn this cant be happening with the games winding down
September 7th, 2007 at 12:29 am
Really, Kerm. You’re being way too harsh in your assessment of Dempster. I don’t care what you say. Dick tricks are hilarious if done properly.
Howdya start a Model-T?
September 7th, 2007 at 12:30 am
A: Ya crank it.
September 7th, 2007 at 9:25 am
Ryan Dumpster is a dry ass dingleberry… With a stand-up routine…
September 7th, 2007 at 10:47 am
Thank you. This needed to be said. I didn’t think I had enough energy to hate Dumpster after Trachsel came back (“must focus rage on Human Rain Delay”). But my cold, barren heart has plenty of room for hate, it turns out.