Hire Jim Essian

Paul Sullivan is suggesting that Jason Marquis may not make the NLDS roster, after Marquis was shelled by the Reds on Sunday after coming on in relief of Ted Lilly. Sullivan also suggests that Ryan Dempster, who was rocked by the Reds, who has been terrible in September, and who is the favorite whipping boy of HJE, may not ... Read More

WOOOOOO! WOOOOOOO HOOOOOO! I swiped that little turd Sullivan's iPhone so I could say hi to all you celebrating little internerds from the madhouse that is the locker room right now! I don't know why the hell you're sitting there on your computer instead of motorboating some chick with big titties, but more power to you! Can you ... Read More

Nearly 100 years ago, the Chicago Cubs beat the Detroit Tigers for the second straight year to win back-to-back championships. It was the last time the Cubs won the World Series. These guys were so dominant that they didn't even HAVE numbers on the backs of their jerseys. Just like the Cubs no longer have a magic ... Read More

Way to get hot at the right time, Z. Now do it six more times. ... Read More

Looks like it's going to be a late-edition Roundup today. That'll give you something to read while you're watching the crazy fucking Venezuelan take on Prince Valium when we really need a great start out of him. This is why White Sox fans are terrible baseball fans and even worse humans. "Because for my beloved group of Cubs-hating White ... Read More

Leo the Lip was just full of nuggets: On Jackie Robinson: I don't care if the guy is yellow or black, or if he has stripes like a fucking zebra. I'm the manager of this team and I say he plays. He can't hit, he can't field, he can't run�all he can do is beat you. On the College of Coaches: If no announcement has ... Read More

That old paw served me pretty well in its time. It gave me a firmer grip on the ball, so I could spin it over the hump. It gave me a greater dip. -Mordecai "Three Fingers" Brown Thanks to CT for the idea. ... Read More

Well, the writers in Milwaukee finally realized they have a baseball team, and now they're trying to act all fired up about the Brewers by writing idiotic fluff. The article is in quotes. My snarky comments are not. Admit it: You're on edge. Cranky. Fat. Don't forget fat. Sleepless in Milwaukee. Too many nights spent in front of a television, by a ... Read More

No matter what some idiots will tell you, the Cubs still control their own destiny. They have four games left with a magic number of four (or possibly three after tonight). Hell, even if the Brewers win out and the Cubs win 3 of 4, they're tied. Keep some perspective. We're not Cardinals fans, for God's sake. ... Read More

Oh, hello there. I didn't see you. I was just enjoying a glass of red wine--which is, of course, the color worn by the finest team in baseball with the finest fans in baseball--and unwinding in front of the fire as I watch my beloved Cardinals go to battle with the Brewers of Milwaukee. What? No. ... Read More