Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Anyone but Podsednik” Edition
Look, Hendry has done a lot of stupid things in his life. Picking up that first bottle of Jack Daniels. Signing Neifi Perez. Having that vending machine put into his master bathroom. Signing Neifi Perez. Letting his Bally’s membership expire. But not even Hendry is dumb enough to think that Scott Podsednik is worth making a move for, right? Can’t we just get Shannon Stewart instead? Whaddya mean, “He’s a dude”?
- I’ll give Podsednik credit for one thing. He is way out over his skis right now, as his wife is former playmate Lisa Dergan.
I wonder if she thinks it’s odd when Scott asks her to dress up like the pool boy before foreplay. - You know how you get back in my good graces after sucking ass at the Major League level? You accept your demotion, you bust your ass in AAA, and maybe–just maybe–you’ll make it back to the big club. What you absolutely don’t do is start bitching about how you should be allowed to stay with the team so you can hang out with your fucking mommy and daddy. You inexplicably have a Major League salary, Will. You can’t fly your folks into Chicago once every six months? If I have any say in it, this asshole will never again be on my ballclub. I want badasses like this guy on my team. Not cream puffs who make up injuries because they suck.
- Christ, our doctors are so stupid. They find out that Ramirez has fluid in his wrist, so they inject more fluid into his wrist. Assholes. The good news is that Aramis won’t have to go on the DL, and will likely be back on Tuesday night. The bad news is Aramis likely won’t be back until Tuesday night.
- The only competent writer in Chicago wonders the same thing I’m wondering. Where the hell is all the power this year? Christ, I’ve seen more raw power at knitting conventions. Yeah, I go to knitting conventions. It’s the only way Anita will let me go to Sturgis every year.
- See if you can guess what I said during our team “meeting” yesterday.
(a) Stay positive and just keep playing your game, and we’ll get through the Soriano and Ramirez injuries.
(b) Wow, there’s a lot more room in here with Ohman gone.
(c) You’re next to be cut, Dempster, you fucking clown.
(d) Light a match, Trammell!
(e) All of the above. - Look, there’s a reason that Commissioner Gordon is a writer and I’m a baseball coach. And here it is. Gordo actually thinks that my “best lineup” has DeRosa batting 7th, Rich Hill batting 8th, and Mike Fontenot batting ninth. In a perfect world, I would pencil in 9 guys who would take turns swinging a bat at Gordo’s pea brain.
- The Best Fans in Baseball applauding the Worst Pitcher in Postseason History. Does it get any better than that?
- We’re back to within a half game of the NL Central lead, which should have your spirits up. If that doesn’t make you happy, keep in mind that the stud player on the team we’re chasing has always been and will always be a disgusting fatass. Maybe you shouldn’t go for a triple cheeseburger, Prince.
Well, that’s it for me. I’m helping the grounds crew at Coors Field reinforce the bleacher seats before Marquis takes the mound tonight. Enjoy the weekend, dingleberries.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
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BigFlax
PenFoe
StPatrick
CT
CactusMcHarris
My God, BK You can’t be serious. Banning him will deprive us of his dizzying intellect and thought provoking arguments.
Besides, school will be starting soon, and he will be gone.
“but you’re not even a good enough troll to be interesting.” – name calling again. And If you are upset about the pederast comment then you must be one.
According to Moneyball we should not resign Zambrano, right?
Which explains why you’re upset about the asshole troll comments.
Just keep teeing them up for me, A-Ram.
Only 2 in a row that time, by the way. You’re slipping.
No comment on the Moneyball right?
I wish they ran the Cubs like the A’s. We wouldn’t have any stars, new underachieving players every year, trade away our best players all to lose in the first round. Wow I wish we did that. I don’t want Zambrano, D. Lee, Aramis, or Soriano anyway. Nick Swisher, Mark Kotsay, Eric Chavez and Mark Ellis are champions. I hope they trade us Dan Haren when Billy Beane doesn’t want to pay him.
It’s like you read Joe Morgan’s review of Moneyball and wrote a book report on it based on that. If you think that’s what Moneyball is about, your reading comprehension is as high-quality as your trolling.
Joe didn’t read it, by the way.
You still haven’t answered the question. Would you rather have Kotsay, Swisher and Chavez and not Soriano, Ramirez and D. Lee? Doesn’t Moneyball say something about not over paying for pitching? See you never answer questions, you just spit some babble that includes an insult and quip usually followed by some stat that no one cares about except you and Billy Beane. I hate Joe Morgan but I would have to agree with him that Moneyball is flawed.
Has the deadline to work out a deal for Podsednik passed yet?
I will take the avoidance of the Moneyball scrutiny as me winning that argument. Keep hating guys, one day it might pay off.
I liken it more to this analogy:
When I was growing up, I had a mutt. We saved him from a humane shelter, and he had clearly been beaten by his previous owners. Because of the trauma, he wasn’t the smartest dog. When I would go to let him outside in the morning, he would go tearing down the stairs around the corner into the kitchen. Every single day, he would skid into the wall and crack his head. I tried to get him to stop smashing his head against a wall. I tried to hold his collar and get him to walk down the stairs slowly. I put a cushion by the part of the wall he always hit. He twisted my finger, though, when I tried to get him to walk slowly. And he chewed up the cushion. And each day, without fail, he would fly down the stairs and slam headfirst into that wall. To him, slamming headfirst into a wall was a part of his daily routine, and he didn’t realize that there was a path of less resistance if he would just stop for a second and use his brain.
My point is, sometimes dumb animals just like to beat themselves mercilessly against a wall, and sometimes it’s best to just go ahead and let them do it.
Oh, in the end my dog started having seizures and we had him killed.
So you would want Kotasy, Swisher and Chavez? Answer the question dumb-ass. Wouldn’t Billy Beane not resign Zambrano? You see Theo Epstien used what Beane taught him and made his own philosophy, thats what you need to do. Instead of word for word regurgitation of meaningless statements, try coming up with an opinion of your own for once.
P.S. i am sorry you spent your time on that dog story. Because i for one couldn’t care less about your analogy. Answer the question, you are dodging the question more than a political figure.
Some things aren’t worth saving
Garczar, isn’t that what they said right before they shot Old Yeller?
You know what I want to do. I wan to get attached to a good player that is in his prime. Buy a Jersey and maybe some other pieces of memrobilia depicting that player, and then have him traded the next year for minor leaguers who if they ever get any good we will trade them away too. Moneyball is a manual for underachieving. If the A’s kept any of the all-stars that they had, they might have 2 or 3 World Series in the 2000′s.
Yep, It is that exact line that get me every time.
Ah, Old Yeller. Best doggone dog in the West. What is your favorite live-action Disney movie? I think I’d have to go with The Rookie or possibly Davy Crockett.
The Rookie is a great flick, but if we’re going to go back a ways, I’ve gotta go with Swiss Family Robinson.
You got me on that Moneyball stuff man, good points. Your rebuttal of the resigning of Zambrano with “Ah, Old Yeller. Best doggone dog in the West” is sheer brilliance! Good stuff!
I was always a fan of the original Herbie, but if we can include it, Song of the South was decent in a horrible racist sort of way.
Oh, man. Swiss Family Robinson was the shit. I completely forgot about that. The coconut bombs. The love triangle between Fritz, Ernst, and Roberta. Francis’ tiger. Those dirty pirates. Great stuff.
You know what movie I got kicked out of with about 45 minutes left and never finished? The Rocketeer. It was friend’s fault that we were kicked out. He just wouldn’t shut the hell up. Anyhow, did the Rocketeer end up vanquishing evil at the end?
I haven’t seen The Rocketeer, but if it was a Disney movie, you can rest assured he did indeed vanquish evil at the end. The Asian pirates in Swiss Family Robinson were totally awesome. And coconut bombs? Too cool. If only I could come up with some sort of low level explosive I could use to bomb the cube farms here at the office? I just want low level damage without loss of life or limb. My coworkers might be Cardinal fans, but they’re not Sox fans. You gotta draw the line somewhere.
Opps, I thought this was a site about the Chicago Cubs, not bad Disney Movies. My bad. Good to see on a Cubs off-day that there some much intelligence on display.
“Opps, I thought this was a site about the Chicago Cubs, not bad Disney Movies. My bad. Good to see on a Cubs off-day that there some much intelligence on display.”
For once, I agree.
I love this! Still no answer to my moneyball questions yet though. Wow, you are a professional!
I thought professionals got paid.
That’s what Billy Beane says!
Hey Kerm, what place are the A’s in right now? What’s their record? Who leads that team in AVG/HR/SLG/OBP/OPS/RISP/WHIP/K-BB? Why are you a Cubs fan If you love Billy Beane so much?
All right. It’s been real, A-Ram, but frankly I just don’t like you, you don’t add anything to the site, you admitted that you’re trying to be a disruptive asshole, and I think you’re pissing everyone off. See ya.
Oh, and to answer your final question on this site, how many games have the A’s won since Beane took over in comparison to how many the Cubs have won?
Oh, right. You can’t answer that.
aaaaaaaannnnnnddddd…that’s a wrap.
If my team had money, like the Cubs do, then I would have been able to keep my stars and develop young talent. Do you think I got excited over midseason acquisitions like Rincon in some kind of vacuum where our pathetic payroll was not a factor? I can’t afford $130M free agents. I can’t afford ANY free agents! The Cubs have a sexy personal assistant to do their grocery shopping; I go to Aldi and have to bring my own grocery bags.