You might be wondering about that sound you heard from up north when you woke up this morning. That sound that started out low, and then started to grow. “Is that- Is that ‘Patience’?” you thought to yourself. Nope. That’s the sound of Brewers fans whistling past the graveyard on their way to work this morning. And I don’t blame them. After last night’s Cubs win and Brewers loss, the Cubs are a slim two games behind their neighbors from up north. Many of the Brewers have been awful lately, and the Brewers’ nail-biting two-game lead is causing much hand-wringing in Milwaukee, even over yesterday’s trade for Scott Linebrink. Brewers fans are whistling past the graveyard, indeed, and the tombstones in that graveyard have some familiar names.
Staff ace, Olympic phenom, first pitcher in Milwaukee made of glass
Died as he lived, with his right middle finger shoved up his ass
Here Lies Jeff Suppan
2.55 ERA in March and April; 4.99, 7.68, and 5.88 ERAs since
Hated as a Cardinal, hated slightly less as a Brewer
Here Lies Chris Capuano
3.21 ERA in March and April; 4.60, 6.55, and 5.40 ERAs since
Should have stuck with acting
Here Lies Derrick Turnbow
.905 OPS against in July
And here we all thought being emo would be the death of him
Here Lies Scott Linebrink
9.35 ERA in July
The Padres got rid of him for a reason
Here Lies Prince Fielder
29 HR, 70 RBI in the First Half; 1 HR, 5 RBI in the Second Half
He might have choked on an entire ham. Instead, he choked on pressure.
Here Lies Ricky Weeks
.133/.278/.156 in July
You can’t spell “Weeks” without “weak”
Here Lies J.J. Hardy
.185/.232/.215 in July
May his soul patch rest in peace
Here Lies Geoff Jenkins
.193/.303/.351 in July
We might have accidentally buried Favre alive in here
Here Lies Corey Hart
.179/.235/.449 in July
The “Boy in the Box” is now truly a boy in a box
Not that I care, but it’s Corey Hart. And he is the result of a retard fucking a tree.
Strangely enough, even the guy I used to mock him is “Corey Hart.” Thanks, Slak.
Nice picture, Irish graveyards are f@#$ing awesome. When I was in Ireland I even got to see the churchyard that is featured in James Joyce’s “The Dead.” Coool.
Also, on a baseball related note, it’s nice to finally maybe see that the long anticipated “Brewers are gonna choke” might actually be happening. But I’m def not gonna be so naive as to think this is anywhere near being over … I just love that it’s exciting this year for a change!
I’ve been pretty quiet as of late b/c I’ve been more interested in whats happening on the field. I don’t wanna jinx it. But the good guys are winning the close games, and the other team is losing them. Thats a definite change from earlier on in the year.