I didn't MEAN to make a mess!

Just as the party was just getting started, Bad Kermit has returned. I’m not sure what he has in store for me now that he has seen the damage — the 60 days worth of guest posters seem to upset him and Sweet Uncle Lou the most.

For now, it means my “humor” will be replaced by Kermit’s humor and Sweet Uncle Lou’s rantings. I really messed up the joint, and Sweet Uncle Lou has already started to make me pay.

This morning, he sent me to a room where the red-haired stepchild he calls “the guy who used to play right field for us” was last seen.

I will NOT drop easy fly balls in right field... I will not drop easy fly balls in right field. I will not play for the Cubs ever again. I will not see my children, being raised by Chuck in Glenview...

 

 Once Matt gets done in there, I’m next. I have to write “I won’t ask John McDonough to fix this site” on the blackboard 10,000 times. Or until Lou passes out and I can sneak out. The way he’s been drinking after yesterday’s game, I might be able to make a quick exit.  But then there’s Kermit, who is muttering about having to blog alongside the guests that John McDonough so graciously lined up for us. Something about it going as well as Kellie Pickler in the booth with Len and Bob.

But BK has reason to count his blessings. He left town, the Cubs lost a pair of games to the Diamondbacks, yet still picked up ground in the Wild Card race. Granted, the race is tighter thanks to the D-backs’ two wins. But the Cubs are 1 1/2 games behind Mouthbreathing Mikey and Company, who still lead the Wild Card. They’re a full 3 games behind Milwaukee, but as many of us know, sometimes it’s best to leave a little distance between yourself and Milwaukee. Often, 90 miles doesn’t feel like enough.

You think I’m kidding about Milwaukee? Sure, nice restaurants, fun bars, good frozen custard. But the people? I don’t know about them. Look at this.

MILWAUKEE — A Greenfield couple who admitted locking a 7-year-old boy in his room while they watched Packers games at a casino received sentences this week.

”What both of you did certainly shocks the conscience of the community,” Circuit Judge Jeffrey Wagner said.

Scott Scherer, 39, and Melanie Hardrath, 30, admitted locking Hardrath’s son in his room with a loaf of bread, peanut butter and jelly, and a bucket for a toilet.

Yes, it shocks my conscience. At least they had the decency to leave the kid alone and not make HIM watch the Packers. You might as well get the kid started on crystal meth.  They’re getting 9 months in jail. Don’t inmates get cable anyway? Hell, they probably get the NFL Network and I don’t. So I suppose they get to watch the Packers without their kid around. But I doubt the charming couple from Wisconsin will have much to cheer about as Packers fans.

I do get a phone call. Can I get Sweet Uncle Lou on line 1?I’ve got to go. I see Bad Kermit coming, and he’s got a loaf of bread, peanut butter and jelly, and a bucket. And he’s telling me to go into this empty room while he and Sweet Uncle Lou clean this place up.

Until next time (if BK lets there be a next time), it’s been fun.