While Bad Kermit is desperately racing home so he can reset the passwords on HJE, I think we need to visit a comment from one of HJE’s finest readers, ilrnr2910:

Can I say how much I like this new “college of coaches” approach to HJE! Kermit and Sweet Lou are nicely supplemented by everyone who has been contributing lately, I think there should be a Guest Columnist every week! It can’t be worse than the Guest Conductors at Wrigley, and for sure reading this article was much better than trying to find something readable in the Chi morning papers…

I appreciate ilrnr2910′s comments, even if his praise is evidence he has elected not to read my postings after the jump. TDubbs, StPatrick, Pre, Anita Piniella, and our hero Jim Essian have all filled in admirably for Kermit. When else would we get two Friday Roundups on the same day?

One other thing about ilrnr2910′s comment: he has a couple of innaccuracies.

Myth No. 1: “for sure reading this article was much better than trying to find something readable in the Chi morning papers…”

Fact: You can, in fact, find something readable in today’s Chicago Arlington Heights papers! After Barry Rozner talks about Tiger Woods, he consults with America’s pre-eminent Barrett expert. Don’t worry about going over there. It’s the same stuff you read yesterday.

Myth No. 2: “I think there should be a Guest Columnist every week! It can’t be worse than the Guest Conductors at Wrigley…”

Fact: Before Bad Kermit returns and changes the keys, I called on John McDonough to see if we could book a guest columnist for every week. Can’t do one a week, he said. Gotta go one a day. Too many “revenue opportunities,” he said.

With the help of McDonough, we’ve got a booking list that is scheduled to begin tomorrow, July 25.

1. July 25 — Al Yellon, Bleed Cubbie Blue
2. July 26 — George Will, Washington Post
3. July 27 — Kurt Evans, Goatriders of the Apocalypse
4. July 28 — Scott Boras, Sports Agent
5. July 29 — Jim Essian, Jr. (Skip’s son)
6. July 30 — Tom Arnold, Actor
7. July 31 — Chuck Gitles, Ivy Chat
8. Aug. 1 — Eric Ferguson and Kathy Hart, Eric and Kathy Radio Show
9. Aug. 2 — Jay Mariotti, Chicago Sun-Times
10. Aug. 3 — Jim Belushi, According to Jim
11. Aug. 4 — Ron Santo
12. Aug. 5 — Gene Simmons, KISS and star of Gene Simmons Family Jewels
13. Aug. 6 — Senators Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton
14. Aug. 7 — Andy Dolan, Desipio
15. Aug. 8 — Mike Ditka
16. Aug. 9 — Jim Frey, Jim Essian’s former boss
17. Aug. 10 — Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney
18. Aug. 11 — Steve McMichael, former Bear
19. Aug. 12 — gaius marius, 1060 west
20. Aug. 13 — Mike North and Fred Huebner, The Score
21. Aug. 14 — Lynn Hauldren, Empire Carpet Guy
22. Aug. 15 — Joe Altobelli, Jim Essian’s predecessor
23. Aug. 16 — Jim Lefebvre, Jim Essian’s successor
24. Aug. 17 — Jake the “local guy” in the Old Style Radio Ads
25. Aug. 18 — Mike Downey, Chicago Tribune
26. Aug. 19 — Todd Hundley, No. 1 on the Bottom 126
27. Aug. 20 — Joe Buck, FOX Sports
28. Aug. 21 — Lance Briggs and Drew Rosenhaus
29. Aug. 22 — Tim Donaghy, author of newly released book and star of new HoopsLine gambling show on CSN
30. Aug. 23 — Vance, NSBB
31. Aug. 24 — Miss Piggy, Muppetts
32. Aug. 25 — Steve Cochran, The Steve Cochran Show on WGN-AM
33. Aug. 26 — Bill Simmons, the Sports Guy ESPN
34. Aug. 27 — The Northwestern and DePaul Women’s Softball Teams, Softball College World Series participants
35. Aug. 28 — Bruce Weber, Illinois basketball
36. Aug. 29 — Dusty Baker, ESPN
37. Aug. 30 — Leah Pipes, star of new CW series Life Is Wild
38. Aug. 31 — Paul Sullivan, Chicago Tribune
39. Sept. 1 — Chip Caray, TBS Sports
40. Sept. 2 — Joe Morgan, ESPN
41. Sept. 3 — Cast of High School Musical
42. Sept. 4 — NIU coach Joe Novak
43. Sept. 5 — Boxer Oscar de la Hoya
44. Sept. 6 — Shoeshine Boy, the Beagle from the movie Underdog
45. Sept. 7 — Grant DePorter, Harry Caray Restaurants
46. Sept. 8 — Danny Jackson, former Cubs pitcher
47. Sept. 9 — Wayne Messmer
48. Sept. 10 — Dave Kaplan, WGN-AM radio
49. Sept. 11 — Allan H. (Bud) Selig, Baseball Commissioner
50. Sept . 12 — Thom Brennaman, FOX Sports
51. Sept. 13 — Former FOX Sports announcer Steve Lyons
52. Sept. 14 — NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon
53. Sept. 15 — Barney the Purple Dinosaur
54. Sept. 16 — Former Ald. Arenda Troutman
55. Sept. 17 — Steve Dahl, WCKG
56. Sept. 18 – Garry Meier, still looking for work WCKG
    
57. Sept. 19 — Maureen Dowd, New York Times
58. Sept. 20 — Katie Couric, CBS News
59. Sept. 21 — Conan O’Brien, Late Night
60. Sept. 22 — Al Roker, Today
61. Sept. 23 — Thad Bosley, former Cub
62. Sept. 24 — Ronnie “Woo Woo” Wickers

There you have it. We’ve booked HJE two months out. McDonough also suggested that we not only allow these guest bloggers contribute their one entry, but that they also be interviewed in both Kermit’s and Sweet Lou’s entries for the day.

Just be careful what you wish for. Kermit returns sometime today, probably not a moment too soon.

Note: If you are one of the scheduled guest bloggers and don’t recognize this piece as being satire, please contact Bad Kermit, and he will be happy to explain to you the terms of your guest-blogging deal.