Sweet Uncle Lou’s Diary: Special “Suspension, Day Three” Edition

Posted by Bad Kermit
Posted on June 5, 2007

“That beam of light has been my only companion.”Dear Diary,

It is cold and dark in here. I am running low on supplies and water. Because of the damp conditions, my feet are cracked and raw. My separation from the team has stretched into its third day.

I know not how the team is doing. The native boy who was providing me with play-by-play updates from the outside was shot dead while trying to provide me with a summary of “The Ron Santo Show” on Monday. No matter how much I wash, I cannot get his blood off my hands. When I close my eyes, I see his face. I see the scraps of paper he slipped through the window. “Jack Jone got hit off Aramis in first inning.” I don’t know why Aramis was pitching, and I don’t care. It was good to know that there was someone out there who knew I was in here. Now, that someone is gone.

If you are reading this note, it is likely that I am either dead, or I was able to bribe one of the guards to get my story out to the outside world. Know that I am thinking of the team. I hope that Stitch-Lip is healing well, and that Crater-Face is keeping the morale of the troops up.

I must go. I hear footsteps approaching, and my eyes grow weary from the dim light. Please continue to hold on to the hope that I will return, no matter how slim that hope may be. Cocksuckers.

-Sweet Uncle Lou

Lou's Diary

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