Hire Jim Essian

Steal a wallet. ... Read More

On behalf of the Cubs organization and its loyal fans, f@#$ you, Scott Williamson. The Cubs paid you $2.5M to pitch like garbage for 42 2/3 innings, and you think you have a right to bitch about playing time? Williamson was signed by the Cubs one year after he "earned" a World Series ring with the Red Sox after pitching ... Read More

Well, well, well, looks like we actually may be getting hotter than shit. Five wins in six games? Cliff Floyd hitting a ball in Pittsburgh even harder than the Cardinals hit the sauce? Rocky Cherry Garcia winning his first game after throwing only two pitches? Winning two games in one day? Shit, we didn't win ... Read More

Remember that one scene from The Rock where the dude from Out for Justice and the dude from Con Air are trying to convince Sean Connery to help them break into Alcatraz to stop the dude from The Abyss and the dude from The Green Mile from firing V.X. gas rockets at the city from the Rice-A-Roni commercials? And remember how ... Read More

I had tried for many, many years to get tickets for the Cubs home opener at face value. For many, many years I failed. Then, in 2004, I found success. I was able to grab four tickets to the home opener against the Pittsburgh Pirates. Greg Maddux was scheduled to pitch in Cub pinstripes for the ... Read More

Will Ohman, you are a damn fool. When I was originally drafting this list, you were, without a doubt, going to be on it. As the list was modified and people were shifted, you managed to skyrocket yourself to Top 30 status. Well done, tubby. I hate LOOGYs. Hate them. I find it absurd that these ... Read More