PHILADELPHIA–It took only one swing of Pat Burrell’s bat to provide the Philadelphia Phillies with enough offense to defeat the Chicago Cubs 7-2 Friday night. Burrell hit a three-run homer in the fourth inning to erase a 2-0 Cubs lead. That was all Philadelphia starter Cole Hamels needed, though Burrell added a two-run homer later in the game, and Chase Utley tacked on the rest with a two-run single in the 7th inning.

What the Phillies didn’t need was the post-game jokes.

“Do they really call Burrell ‘Pat the Bat’?” Cubs manager Lou Piniella asked. “Because that’s what I say when I’m going to go crank one out. ‘I’ll be back, ladies, I’m going to go pat the bat.’ What a queer nickname.”

“Burrell had a great game,” Cubs starter Rich Hill said. Hill was hit with the loss, dropping his record to 4-2 and increasing his ERA to 2.51. “He really stroked those balls well,” Hill said, suppressing a grin. “He really drove them deep.”

“Hill has pitched great this year,” Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild said. “But tonight he really got the shaft. Our offense just didn’t stand erect and deliver the goods when it needed to.”

Cubs catcher Michael Barrett chimed in on Hill’s start as well. “Masturbate an erect penis,” Barrett said, giggling, and clearly not getting it.

Saturday, the Cubs send Angel Guzman to the mound against former White Sox pitcher Freddy Garcia.