Watching Jose Hernandez come to the plate in a Cubs uniform was like peeking your head into the freak show tent at the circus. You knew you were going to end up queasy and disappointed, but damned if you weren’t curious enough to do it anyhow because you thought maybe- just maybe- this time it would deliver.

Of course, it didn’t. The fetuses in the jars were obviously rubber, the lizard man was a little standoffish, the bearded lady looked no worse than your grandma, and you got bit by the two-headed goat. By both heads.

Oh, and Jose Hernandez? Well, he struck out. On three pitches. The third one was a foot over his head.

The Cleveland Indians traded Hernandez to the Cubs in the middle of the 1993 season for Heathcliff Slocumb. Hernandez made his Cub debut the next season, getting into 56 games mainly as a shortstop and third baseman. He whiffed 29 times in his 132 at-bats that season, and he drew only 8 walks. Uh oh.

Hernandez served as a super-sub for the next few years before finally becoming the default starting third baseman in 1998, and then shifting over to shortstop in 1999 after the late-1998 arrival of Gary Gaetti.

All throughout that time, Hernandez piled up strikeout after strikeout after strikeout. He would stride to the plate like the cock of the walk, with his wrap-around sunglasses obscuring his the fact that his eyes were as scared as a Rob Deer in the headlights. He sure acted like he could hit, windmilling his bat around up by his neck and pointing the barrel straight at the pitcher several times. Perhaps he was doing little more than tipping the pitcher that they should throw nothing below his neck if they wanted to get him out.

Hernandez also wilted like a flower late in the season each year, particularly in 1998. When the Cubs needed him to produce, he hit a miserable .163/.220/.272 in September and August with only 2 home runs and 8 RBI during that time.

The Cubs sent Hernandez along with Terry Mulholland to the Atlanta Braves at the trade deadline in 1999 for Micah Bowie, Ruben Quevedo, and Joey Nation.

But wait!

The Cubs brought Hernandez back during the 2003 season, trading Mark Bellhorn to the Colorado Rockies in exchange. After the trade was announced, I remember weaving a tapestry of obsenity about Jim Hendry that, as far as I know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan. A month later, though, Hendry redeemed himself by fleecing the Pittsburgh Pirates, trading Hernandez, Bobby Hill, and Matt Bruback for slugger Aramis Ramirez and leadoff hitter Kenny Lofton.

Ramirez and Lofton helped the Cubs barely edge past the Houston Astros to win the NL Central. Of the guys the Cubs sent away, let’s just say that Hernandez was by far the most successful.

Low Point: I would certainly like to pick a Cub moment here. Hernandez had more than his fair share of crushing disappointments at the plate in a Cubs uniform. I cannot ignore, though, Hernandez’s 2002 season with the Brewers. Hernandez struck out 188 times, leaving him just one short of the then-MLB record held by Bobby Bonds with five games to play. Even the Milwaukee fans, who were watching their team stumble to a miserable 56-106 record, were rooting for Hernandez to break the record. Brewers manager Jerry Royster only played Hernandez in one of the final five games, though, leaving him just short of the strikeout record. As it turns out, Hernandez would have only held the record for two seasons, anyhow, as NSBB heartthrob Adam Dunn blew past Bonds’ record during the 2004 season. And then blew through his own record again during the 2006 season.

Did You Know? In that strikeout-crazy 2002 season, Hernandez was elected to the All-Star Game for the one and only time during his career. Not coincidentally, the game was in Milwaukee that year. Remember that game? Ended in a tie. It also ended up costing the National League home field advantage in the World Series for the past four years. Given the last four NL representatives to the Series, I guess that’s a good thing. So…thanks, Jose.