BIRMINGHAM, Ala.–Yesterday, Dr. James Andrews performed arthroscopic surgery on Cubs right-handed Mark Prior. Andrews did a debridement of Prior’s right rotator cuff, as well as repair the labral and capsular injuries in his right shoulder.
Andrews had expected such a result going into the surgery. What he did not expect, however, was the high level of estrogen in Prior’s shoulder.
“The amount of estrogen in the blood from the patient’s shoulder that we tested was such that we believe that the patient is, in fact, female,” Andrews said. “Of course, this raises an incredible number of questions about the birth of the patient’s daughter, the patient’s career as a professional baseball player, and the patient’s sideburns.”
On the other hand, the discovery did answer several questions about Prior. “Well, of course, this also explains the patient’s incessant nagging, inability to drive, and constant complaints about the temperature in the clubhouse being too cold,” Andrews said.
Cubs general manager Jim Hendry had no comment regarding the contractual implications of Andrews’ discovery.
on behalf of women everywhere, I’m offended….that Prior should be considered one of us :) Ha. Can you imagine him birthing a baby? (dear God, nurses everywhere shudder) Or raising children while working full time at a real job? (where the DL consists of lying on the couch vomiting while your children dance around you shrieking, “Mommy get up! I have to go to the store and get stuff for my sciene project that’s due tomorrow!) Let’s just consider him a sexless, androgynous pile of Whine that neither sex wishes to claim :)
123NOTIT! Score one for the dudes. He’s all yours, ladies. Perhaps he can take Rosie’s spot on The View, because he sure as shit isn’t playing baseball this year. Have fun with your new girlfriend. Can you imagine girl’s night out with her? She’s just going to go on and on and on about how nothing ever works for her, and you’ll have to listen to it while the fellas are out drinking or bowling or playing with guns or something else that is way more awesome than hanging with Ms. Prior. By the way, if she asks, shes DOES look fat in those pants.
How come he keeps going back to the “famous” Dr. James Andrews?
Maybe he should get another freaking doctor.
It pains me to no end that I know more about Dr. Lewis Yocum and Dr. James Andrews than some members of my own family strictly because of Wood and Prior.
SERENITY NOW!