Early rumors say that Prior is done for the season. Big. F@#$ing. Deal. Counting on Prior to pitch another inning in a Cubs uniform this year makes about as much sense as the plot of this season of 24.
Hey, we’re only twenty games into the season. No reason to panic yet. You don’t lose the division in April. These guys will start hitting when it warms up. My fishing buddy and I are going to figure out this lineup eventually. I used to play with Hank Aaron. There’s always next- What the-? What just happened? I think I blacked out for a second there.
I can’t believe the freak show that is the Chicago media isn’t used to having people not want to talk to them. Honestly, did anyone talk to the kid in your high school class named “Gordon”? Gordons eat their own snot and shoot bologna at you out of their retainers while they talk. Excuse me for wanting a bit of a breather from these guys.
Yeah, this team isn’t showing a lot of fire on the field, but at least Gerry Perry wants to kick someone’s f@#$ing ass. I’ve been trying to steer him toward Hendry, but kicking an ump in the teeth is cool, too.
If you don’t feel like this yet after yesterday’s embarrassment, I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that the dickheads on the North South Side have won five of their last six.
I can’t speak for Kermit, but I swear this wasn’t me. All the poison-pen letters I send to ESPN are about their East Coast bias. And I sign them all “Hugh G. Rection.”
Well, the tarp is off, the beer is cold, and- Oh, shit. It’s already the bottom of the first? Gotta go.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
Sweet Uncle Lou,
I have a suggestion for your troubles at shortstop. There is a utility player playing for Detroit that may fix your problems. He is a switch hitter, a very nice guy, and an everyday type of player. He played for me while I was in Chicago until management felt it was time to let him go (they were wrong). Let me know what your thoughts are on this.
Dusty
Dusty,
Allow me to reply in lieu of Lou:
Fuck you. I hope you choke on your toothpick. Every word you say makes me cringe. You are a walking ulcer. Only you could make an asshat like Joe Morgan look smart, and anyone who has ever seen more than 10 games thinks he’s a retard. Only you could actually believe walks clog the bases. Asshole. Only you could believe that race v. game temperature is an important factor when making out the lineup card. I hope you get sodomized with a ping pong paddle – and not the handle. All of that concentrated retardedness, however, pales in comparison to your continuous playing of Neifi Perez. Nothing you have ever said or done even approaches the ignorance of those decisions. How you can spend your entire life in the game of baseball and not recognize true suck, distilled to its most concentrated levels in the history of the MAJOR LEAGUES?!! Those of us with brains that function above the stem saw Neifi for what he was immediately – a no tool hack.
In closing, I hope you and Neifi are shipwrecked and attacked by sharks. And they only eat your worthless balls. And this happens in the past before you could curse the planet with your godforsaken soon-to-be retarded spawn. I’m smiling as I imagine your lifeless corpses dropping to the ocean floor to be gnawed at by crabs and pissed on by eels.
I hate you,
Patrick
p.s. Go Cubs
Cubs win. Get happy until Friday. We’re sweeping the Cardinals this weekend. Mark that shit down.
Well done, St. Patrick.
The bitter vile is STRONG in this one.
Thank you, Mike. Misery loves company. But mine still tells Dusty to piss off.