CHICAGO–Fed up with the early-season woes of the offensively impotent Cubs, “Wild” Bill Holden has started a new walk to raise money for The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.

“That’s it. I’m out of here,” Holden said after the Cubs dropped a 4-1 decision to the Milwaukee Brewers in Wrigley Field on Tuesday night, their third loss in a row.

Holden finished his beer, rose from his seat, marched out of Wrigley Field, and turned west.

“He just jumped up and left,” said the young man sitting next to Holden at the game. “He was getting pretty riled up during the game. I thought he was going to [soil] himself after the Cubs hit into their third double play of the night.”

The young man, worried about Holden’s state of mind, followed him from the stadium and asked where he was going. According to the young man, Holden said, “Far from this place of pain.”

The young man asked when Holden would stop. Holden replied, “Whenever the [expletive] I feel like stopping.”

“I’ll tell you one thing, I’m not going to stop until I have the stench of this team off me,” said Holden, a normally good-spirited, though sweaty and red-faced, Irishman. “These idiots are six games out, and it isn’t even May,” the exasperated Holden said. “It’s a lot more pleasant being on the road. The only thing I have to worry about on the road is getting smacked and dragged for fifty miles by an eighteen-wheeler. The way this season has started, I’d prefer that to watching this disaster unfold.”