#32: “The Knights Who Say” Ronny Cedeno
I remember a few years ago when Ronny Cedeno was first protected from the Rule V draft by Jim Hendry. I remember thinking to myself, “Why the hell is Hendry wasting a spot on the Cubs’ 40-man roster on this clown?”
Some things never change.
Cedeno is still wasting a spot on the Cubs’ 40-man roster, only now he’s also wasting a spot on the Cubs’ active roster. And I mean wasting.
Cedeno was signed by the Cubs as an amateur free agent in 1999. That was their first mistake. The Cubs then made Cedeno their starting shortstop going into the 2006 season, rather than attempting to sign the fragile Nomar Garciaparra to at least play the 50 games a year he averaged as a Cub. That was their second mistake. The 50 games Nomar could have played before his groin supernovaed would have at least been some small relief from the awfulness of watching Cedeno lace them up for 151 games. Cedeno is somehow still collecting at-bats in the early part of the 2007 season. That is the Cubs’ third mistake.
I thought the idea of reincarnation is that when you die, if you’re a bad person, you come back as something like a mud skipper or Sarah Spain’s crabs. So how bad do you have to be to keep coming back as a new incarnation of Neifi Perez? Seriously. Aren’t all of these no-hit, overrated-glove, overrated-speed middle infielders the same dude?
You know you have problems when one of your “Similar Batters” on Baseball-Reference is Jose Nieves. If that doesn’t tell you that you suck, perhaps your .246 career average, .276 OBP, and .344 SLG will. I would think, though, when a middle infielder sucks at all things offense, and is overrated on defense, he would at the very least be able to run the bases well. Cedeno can’t. He is, in fact, terrible at it, as evidenced by his mere 10 stolen bases against the 9 times he was caught stealing.
Plus, Ronny is one of those of those assholes like Neifi who has to get involved with every mound conference. It drives me f@#$ing nuts when Barrett jogs out to the mound to talk to Rich Hill, and Cedeno trots his turtle-looking ass over to the mound like he has some deep insight to offer. What the f@#$ is he adding to the conversation?
BARRETT: Okay, Fielder likes the ball up, so let’s make sure to pound him down and away. We’ll go with the second indicator and-
CEDENO JOGS UP.
CEDENO: Hey, guys! Whatcha talking about?
HILL: Nothing. BARRETT: Nothing.
CEDENO: You know what pitch is really hard for me to hit?
HILL: Um, all of them?
CEDENO: No, silly! Your breaking ball. I think you should throw him a breaking ball.
BARRETT: Thanks for the tip, Ronny.
HILL: Yeah, that’s great Ronny.
RONNY STARES AND SMILES AT HILL AND BARRETT, WHO ARE SILENT.
RONNY: Hey, I got a new glove? Wanna check it out?
HILL: Maybe later, Ronny. You think maybe you can go back to your position?
RONNY: Are you guys talking about grown-up stuff again?
BARRETT: Yeah, Ronny. Go back to your position, okay?
RONNY SKIPS OFF TO HIS POSITION AND TAKES A PINCH OF BIG LEAGUE CHEW.
Here we go again, Cubs fans. Since apparently Ryan Theriot and Mark DeRosa can’t play even a slightly crappy shortstop, we’re stuck with the choice between Cedeno and Cesar Izturis at shortstop. Remember, folks, death is still an option.
Low Point: April 20, 2007. Please explain to me, Ronny, how this happens.
J Jones Walk; Cedeno out at 2B/C-SS
In case you didn’t catch it, Cedeno was running on ball four to Jock Jones in the 9th inning of a game against the Cardinals with the Cubs down 2-1. Instead of looking at the batter to see if he walked or instead of, you know, being a Major League baseball player who doesn’t overslide bases, Ronny dove headfirst right past second, where he was tagged out by David Eckstein. That’s right. Cedeno is such a great base stealer, that he was thrown out at second base on a f@#$ing walk. Get bent. Oh, and the Cubs lost the game 2-1.
Did You Know? In 2006, Cedeno walked only 3.1% of the time, the worst ratio in the National League. Moreover, four of his seventeen walks were intentional. Not even Cedeno could swing at a ball two feet outside of the strike zone. He’s not Alfonso Soriano, for crying out loud. Here’s a question. Why in God’s name would anyone ever intentionally walk Cedeno?
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CT
StPatrick
PenFoe
BigFlax
Bocaj
The best (and by “best” I mean “worst”) part of of the low point was Cedeno saying afterword, “must be new rules.” Hilarious.
Can you believe that this clown makes more money than all of us combined? Well at least before taxes.
And do you think this is a first? The Low Point on the list is one that occurred within the same 5 days of the shitbag beign posted on the list?
Wade Miller’s low point was close. 12 days between it and the day he was posted. I can’t believe this guy is still on the roster.
I can. It’s the Cubs.
Opossing Pitchers intentionally walk Ronny, because they know Ronny will get caught stealing second on the next walk. Sounds obvious to me.
PS
I too hate it when SS, 2B, etc trot to the mound and join the conversation. You nailed the description.
not to defend ronnie one but, but the ss/2b goes to the mound when they change signs so they know what the hell is going on.
Very nice…I can’t understand why the Cubs have Ronny and Izturis. Ronny’s the only guy I can think of that could get beat out by Izturis and Neifi.
Good timing, too…I wrote a post yesterday about the Cubs’ grand history of shitty shortstops.
http://bugsandcranks.com/chicago-cubs/shawons-curse-a-short-history-of-sucking-at-shortstop/
Pre, you killjoy.
Adam, I saw your article yesterday and laughed about the timing, myself. Great, great stuff you have in there. I love how everyone laments the Cubs’ “hole” at third base, when they also frequently have had gaping holes at second, short, center, closer, etc., etc., etc.
God, i loved that conversation between hill, barrett and cedeno…tehe
I would assume that they are walking Ronny intentionally because Helen Keller is on deck.