Roosevelt Brown was supposed to be the Cubs’ own Glenallen Hill, right? Crappy defense made up for at the plate with prodigious power. A National League DH, through and through.
That didn’t work out too well.
Brown was too good for the Iowa Cubs, yet brutal in the Major Leagues, which had to have been ridiculously frustrating for the Cubs and for Brown himself. Imagine if you were outstanding at your job. You were one of the best widget-makers in the business. So, your boss promoted you to widget-making supervisor. Your first day at your new job, you sexually harass your boss’s underage daughter. The second day, you shut down the widget line because you get your genitals caught in the conveyor belt. The third day, you burn down the widget plant when a stray spark lands on the stack of animal pornography in your office.
Three strikes, you’re out, as you’re demoted back to widget-maker, where you again excel. This happens several times, with your boss promoting you, only to have you embarrass yourself and cause thousands of dollars worth of property damage and legal fees before you are subsequently demoted. Such was the career of Roosevelt Brown. Outstanding widget-maker. Pedophile, mechanophile, and bestiality porn fanatic as a widget-making supervisor.
What Brown needed was a level above AAA and below the Major Leagues. An AAAA league. When one starts talking about inventing baseball leagues just to fit a player’s ability, you can bet your bottom dollar that said player will make an appearance on The Bottom 126.
I think many Cubs fans (myself included) were worried that Rich Hill would become the pitching version of Roosevelt Brown. Hill’s utter dominance of AAA hitters was not translating to the Major Leagues until the end of last year. Fortunately, Hill blossomed. Brown never made that transition. So, until the AAAA Spokane Cubs have a team, Brown will sit at #34 on The Bottom 126.
Low Point: According to the guy who sponsors Brown’s Baseball-Reference page, Brown was hit by a pitch in a game with the Iowa Cubs. After the game, there was a fight during which Brown’s female cousin leaped from the stands to help him. I’m guessing she figured Brown had no chance of swinging and making solid contact with any of his assailants.
Did You Know? Brown is cousins with Ellis Burks. You know. The cousin who had a long, successful baseball career.
