Sweet Uncle Lou’s Diary: April 19, 2007
Okay, I’m done punching a wall over that obnoxious loss last night. Go ahead and replace the phrase “a wall” with “Scott Eyre, Carlos Zambrano, Cesar Izturis, and Matt Murton.”
They say that more than two shakes, and you’re playing with it. Well, this is the sixth f@#$ing time I’ve shaken up the top of lineup already. I’m starting to like this “center fielder bats first, second baseman bats second” thing. Where have I heard that before?
Soriano wants to be an All-Star. He’s sure as hell putting up the numbers for it! Ah, what am I saying? If Earsturis can be an All-Star, any f@#$ing one can make that game.
The guys at Goatriders posted a link to an interesting Hardball Times article about what’s f@#$ed up with Prior’s pitching motion. They break his motion down frame-by-frame to determine the problem. At that speed, you can see the exact moment his budding little breasts get in the way of his delivery.
If you’re ready to throw yourself off a building now, Cubs fans, at least you’re not the guy who had to talk to Screamin’ A. Smith and Dusty F. Baker in the same night. Dusty still doesn’t know why the Cubs got rid of him. Ninety-six f@#$ing losses, and he still hasn’t a clue. Say what you will about me, but at least I’m not delusional.
Here’s a headline I bet you never thought you’d see: [Jerome] Williams trying too hard. Trying to hard to what? Throw off the rotation of the Earth with his fat ass?
In something straight out of Major League II, Mike Mahoney, our AAA first-base and bench coach activated himself after Pie was promoted. In something else out of Major League, “We’re still shitty.”
I have faith that Will Ohman will still figure things out. In Iowa. In a beer league. Playing first base. Batting 10th.
Jacque Jones says he’s immune to criticism and trade talk. If he doesn’t shape up soon, I’m going to find out if he’s immune to a poisoned blowdart to the base of his skull.
As if this season couldn’t get any worse, the mouthbreather on the North South Side pitched a no-hitter last night. That puts him in the company of such illustrious left-handers as Kent Mercker. Eat a dick, Buehrle. I do enjoy how the headline reads, “Buehrle an unlikely candidate for a no-no.” Too bad they couldn’t fit the rest of it, “…because he blows at baseball.” Left-handed Greg Maddux my wrinkled old ass.
Well, I have to come up with a new way for us to lose tonight. Trammell’s rooting for Hill to lose consciousness in the third inning because of “poo gas.” I really have to talk to him.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the feed to get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
CT
StPatrick
PenFoe
BigFlax
Bocaj