Some thoughts on the game:

  • It’s only the second game of the season and I already have to watch this crap on CLTV?
  • So, the Reds’ #1 and #2 starters are a zombie and a chick? I kid. Arroyo’s not a chick. But he is Prince Valium from Spaceballs, right?
  • Hey, people voting on Comcast Sports Net? If you take an Opening Day start away from Carlos Zambrano, he will feed on your young.
  • Remember that pitch the Cincinnati mayor threw on Opening Day? Soriano swung at it in the first inning.
  • I like Ted Lilly. Yes, there is little doubt that he has a stack of corpses buried in his cellar, and his mock turtleneck is made of human flesh, but he threw a lot of strikes.
  • Why doesn’t Bronson Arroyo have 12 home runs this game?
  • Jacque Jones in the #2 spot makes about as much sense as Brenly ad-libbing.
  • If you would have told me that Cesar Izturis and Ted Lilly would have the 2nd and 3rd RBI of the season, I would have spun around three times and spat between my fingers at you.
  • Watching Adam Dunn play left field is about as funny as watching the Cubs execute a safety squeeze.
  • Ha ha! The Reds’ pitching coach is Dick Pole.
  • Nice game by Aramis. A couple of hits and a really nice grab in the field.
  • Have these guys ever heard of an extra base hit?
  • The one at the far right in the front is someone’s mom. And that someone is my dad.Cheerleaders and baseball? Bah. If you’re going to do it, though, Reds, how about some attractive ones?
  • F@#$ Adam Dunn with his father’s VORP.
  • Barrett’s not even smart enough to keep his hands away from a guy swinging a 38″ piece of wood?
  • I remember the days when Ken Griffey, Jr. didn’t weigh 600 pounds.
  • Holy shit, Adam Dunn. You’re so bad in the outfield that the Cubs sent Aramis Ramirez from second on a base hit to you. And he scored, partially because you threw the ball to first base.
  • Theriot in left? Eh. I guess it can’t be worse than Floyd. Or Soriano. Or Jones. Or Murton.
  • If it were warm out, there would have been 26 home runs hit in this game.
  • Hey, at least Cedeno got his uniform dirty.
  • Of course Chris Carpenter has elbow soreness. He’s on my fantasy team.
  • Victor Santos couldn’t come up with better entrance music than “Ballroom Blitz”?
  • Did Len Kasper just call Dempster “Demp”? Even he sounded embarrassed after he said it.
  • Lou, nice job redassing Dempster for walking a guy with a three-run lead. I like it.
  • Jesus, Theriot looks like Todd Walker out in left field. Wow.

Good win. Get a series win tomorrow, boys.