Hire Jim Essian

Sorry, everyone. Computer issues and nice weather conspired with several other factors, leading to a sunburn and a slacking off on my HJE duties. The Bottom 126 will be back in full force tomorrow. ... Read More

ST. LOUIS--The "Best Fans in Baseball," those of the St. Louis Cardinals, once again showed why they are the classiest, most intelligent, most loyal fans in the history of human civilization Friday night. When the home plate umpire was struck in the face mask midway through the game by a ball fouled straight back at him, every single Cardinal fan in ... Read More

Happy Friday, jerkmeats. It's Cardinal time again, only this time we have to go down to their redneck of the woods. You know what that means. It's time to laugh at them and hope that bad things happen to them. Let's hope Tony's wife is able to give him a ride to the game. And to give ... Read More

I'll be the first to admit that putting Phil Nevin so high on The Bottom 126 is completely irrational, but GOD DAMN did I hate Phil Nevin. Nevin dragged his rotting carcass of to the Cubs during the 2006 season to play first base after Rafael Furcal tore Derrek Lee's arm clean off his body. How nice of him. ... Read More

BIRMINGHAM, Ala.--Yesterday, Dr. James Andrews performed arthroscopic surgery on Cubs right-handed Mark Prior. Andrews did a debridement of Prior's right rotator cuff, as well as repair the labral and capsular injuries in his right shoulder. Andrews had expected such a result going into the surgery. What he did not expect, however, was the high level of estrogen in Prior's ... Read More

Did you ever see the movie For Love of the Game? I remember hating it when I saw it in the theater, but I was talked into watching it again just a few months ago. The second viewing reminded me of all the reasons why I hated it. The terrible acting. The prominent role the Yankees ... Read More

Early rumors say that Prior is done for the season. Big. F@#$ing. Deal. Counting on Prior to pitch another inning in a Cubs uniform this year makes about as much sense as the plot of this season of 24. Hey, we're only twenty games into the season. No reason to panic yet. You don't lose ... Read More

CHICAGO--Fed up with the early-season woes of the offensively impotent Cubs, "Wild" Bill Holden has started a new walk to raise money for The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. "That's it. I'm out of here," Holden said after the Cubs dropped a 4-1 decision to the Milwaukee Brewers in Wrigley Field on Tuesday night, their third loss in a row. Holden finished ... Read More

I remember a few years ago when Ronny Cedeno was first protected from the Rule V draft by Jim Hendry. I remember thinking to myself, "Why the hell is Hendry wasting a spot on the Cubs' 40-man roster on this clown?" Some things never change. Cedeno is still wasting a spot on the Cubs' 40-man roster, only now he's also wasting ... Read More

BIRMINGHAM, Ala.--At the end of Spring Training, Iowa Cubs pitcher Mark Prior was indignant that he did not make the Cubs' 25-man roster. Prior's sarcastic comments that he would try to make the Futures Game did not endear him to many Cubs fans already put off by Prior's "Golden Boy" image and privileged attitude. Today, Dr. James Andrews of Birmingham, ... Read More