Bring it, Saberweenies who are going to come rushing to Hee Seop Choi’s defense. Bring it the f@#$ on.
Because you can cut Choi’s stats like this, you can cut ‘em like that, and you can cut ‘em with a whiffle ball bat. But no matter which way you cut them, they suck.
Choi came up with the Cubs in 2002, and the scouts projected power and patience with a slick glove at first base. What they didn’t project was a hole in Choi’s swing so large that it couldn’t even be covered by Daryle Ward’s uniform pants. And when it comes to “slick glove,” Derrek Lee makes Choi look like Jim Hendry trying to open a bag of pork rinds with no thumbs.
Remember how Choi was supposed to be the future at first base? I think the plan was to have him standing next to Bobby Hill on the right side of the Cubs’ infield. Turns out, the only good things Choi and Hill did in a Cubs uniform were to magically transform into Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez.
Good Lord, were people honestly up in arms when the Cubs sent Choi to the Florida Marlins with Mike Nannini for Lee? Lee was better than Choi at everything, probably including speaking Korean (yes, I know Japanese is not Korean; get over it, nerdlinger). The Cubs ended up with one of the top 5 first basemen in the game in exchange for a guy who got beat out by Nomar Garciaparra to play first base and for some sort of bread product.
Low Point: June 7, 2003. The New York Yankees are in town for the first time since the 1938 World Series. The Cubs are trying to spoil Roger Clemens’ bid at his 300th win. Kerry Wood is pitching brilliantly and outdueling his childhood hero (so what if Clemens had the flu?). So what does the big galoot Choi do? He tries to murder Kerry Wood. In the top of the 4th inning Jason Giambi hits a popup on the infield. Both Wood and Choi go for it. Heads collide. Wood shakes it off, impregnates 12 women in the crowd, and finishes pitching into the 8th inning, giving up only 1 earned run and whiffing 11 Yankees. Choi is carried out on a stretcher, and never again sees regular time as a Cub. I suppose we should be thanking Choi, though. His replacement and HJE! favorite, Eric Karros, stepped in and served up one of the most fist-pumpingly electrifying moments in recent Cub history. Karros clubbed a three-run homer to left on the first pitch he saw from Juan Acevado with one out in the bottom of the 7th, giving the Cubs all the runs they would need in a 5-2 victory.
Did You Know? Wikipedia actually went out of its way to point out that Dusty Baker nicknamed Choi “Big Choi.” How. Very. Clever. Wasn’t Darren Baker in love with Choi or something?
