If Augie Ojeda isn’t the prototypical, “good glove, no stick” guy, I don’t know who is. Particularly since Ojeda actually was the size of a prototype of an actual ballplayer.

The diminutive Ojeda inexplicably became a fan favorite of the idiot masses at Wrigley Field. Oh, how a good portion of the crowd would roar as Ojeda would come to the plate! I suspect the portion that was shorter than 5’6″.

Ojeda had one thing going for him. He was the Eddie Gaedel of Chicago Cubs history. He drew nearly as many walks in his career as he struck out, primarily because opposing pitchers had a difficult time threading the 4″ needle that was Ojeda’s strike zone.

In the field, Ojeda was solid if not spectacular. He was likely to get to most grounders hit to him. The problem was that any line drive hit at him more than six feet off the ground was ticketed for left field.

The big problem was the more than 300 at-bats Ojeda had as a Cub during which his slugging percentage would embarrass most hitters as a batting average. In 2004, the only season he was away from the Cubs, Ojeda put together great numbers as a part-time player with Minnesota, including a very un-Augie-like .887 OPS. You see, Cubs? You gave up on him just before he blossomed into a superstar!

Low Point: August 11, 2003. The Cubs are 3.5 games behind the Astros, who are in Wrigley Field for a crucial series. Kerry Wood pitches a gem, giving up only 2 runs in 7 innings while striking out 9 Astros. Unfortunately for the Cubs, Wade Miller is slightly better, giving up only 1 run in 6 innings while whiffing 9 Cubs. Ojeda gets the start at shortstop and goes 0-3 with a strikeout, and a popout to shortstop with the tying and go-ahead runs on base with two outs in the bottom of the 6th inning. The Cubs lose 3-1, setting up an incredibly stressful September.

Did You Know? Ojeda was also a fan favorite while playing with the Rochester Red Wings, as the fans chanted “Augie! Augie! Augie! Oy! Oy! Oy!” during his plate appearances there. Lame.