Let me get this straight. Jason Dubois begat Jody Gerut who begat Matt Lawton who begat Justin Berg. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just take Jason Dubois out behind a dumpster and shoot him?

Jody Gerut was a Cub for exactly eleven games and fourteen at-bats in that wistful miserable 2005 season. That was exactly eleven games and fourteen at-bats too long. To find Gerut’s batting average as a Cub, you would need a machine that would shrink you down to the size of his on-base percentage, and then you’d have to crouch down and hold a tiny flashlight horizontally against the floor to look for his batting average’s shadow. That’s how small it was. Small.

Gerut should have quit while he was ahead. He had a stellar rookie season with the Cleveland Indians, socking 22 home runs, driving in 75 RBI, and finishing fourth in the AL Rookie of the Year voting. Then, he got worse and worse and worse until he was finally bad enough that Jim Hendry wanted to trade for him.

But before Yosh Kiwano could even finish the stitching on the back of Gerut’s jersey, he had been spun to Pittsburgh for the steroid-loving Matt Lawton. And the Jody Gerut era on the North Side of Chicago was over. Did anyone even notice he had been there? Maybe not. Which is why Hire Jim Essian! is here to MAKE you notice.

Low Point: July 20, 2005. In Gerut’s only start as a Cub, he goes 0-4 in a 9-3 loss to the Cincinnati Reds. Let me clarify that. He went 0-4 in trying to hit the ball out of the infield. That may have had something to do with his 0-4 day at the plate.

Did You Know? Jody Gerut is from Elmhurst, Illinois, where Carl Sandburg once lived. Maybe that’s why he comes off as sort of a cocky douche in the blog he wrote while on the Indians.