Two things about Rondell White: 1. I’m pretty sure I lifted the nickname from the gentlemen and scholars at Desipio, and even if I got it somewhere else, I’m giving them credit for it, anyhow. 2. He was actually pretty good as a Cub, which is why he’s not higher on the list.

HOWEVER.

If you managed the Cubs in 2000 and 2001 and penciled White into your lineup card for 162 games (a) I’d like to punch you in the face, and (b) this would be the scene in left field for about 40% of those games:

Rondell? Rondell?

White had to have been the most frail non-pitcher to put on a Cubs uniform (although an honorable mention certainly goes to Nomar Garciaparra). It’s a shame, because I really liked White as a player. I didn’t like him while he was cashing pay checks from a hot tub, though, which he spent most of his Cub career doing.

Rondell White. Most ironic name ever.

Oh, and don’t forget that the Cubs traded Scott Downs to get White. The same Scott Downs who, in his one start against the Cubs late in the 2004 season, pitched a complete-game, five-hit shutout. Remember the 2004 season? You don’t? You’re lucky.

Low Point: September 23, 2001. The Cubs are in Houston trying to spoil the Astros’ season. Sammy Sosa goes yard three times, once to tie the game, and twice to put the Cubs in the lead. White, on the other hand, goes 0-4 and whiffs three times (including once in the top of the 8th with the tying run on first), as the Cubs lose to the Astros 6-7.

Did You Know? During his final four seasons with the Expos, White purchased 200 tickets for each Sunday home game for underprivileged children in the Montreal area, which doubled the attendance at Expos games during that stretch.