CHICAGO--The Cubs have thankfully reached an agreement with right-handed towel-thrower Mark Prior. The announcement comes just weeks before Prior's inevitable season-ending injury. The Cubs have not yet released the terms of the agreement, but sources close to Jim Hendry expect that the deal will include a lifetime supply of Always and a DVD copy of The Bridges of ... Read More
Cubs Come to Terms With Prior by Using Terms “Injury-Prone,” “Pansy,” and “Tampon”
Posted On 31 Jan 2007 By Bad Kermit. Under: Uncategorized.
CHICAGO--The Cubs have thankfully reached an agreement with right-handed towel-thrower Mark Prior. The announcement comes just weeks before Prior's inevitable season-ending injury. The Cubs have not yet released the terms of the agreement, but sources close to Jim Hendry expect that the deal will include a lifetime supply of Always and a DVD copy of The Bridges of ... Read More
#113: Gary “No-Show” Varsho
Posted On 31 Jan 2007 By Bad Kermit. Under: The Bottom 126.
What was the point of Gary Varsho? Other than the fact that he's one of those guys whose name can only be said as a first and last name combination, little good can be said about Gary Varsho.
Thanks to the lunatic collecting vintage pictures of crappy Cubs for providing this picture. And the one of Chico Walker. ... Read More
#114: Jason “Not a Green” Bere
Posted On 30 Jan 2007 By Bad Kermit. Under: The Bottom 126.
Maybe I couldn't stand Jason Bere because he had no shoulders. Maybe it was because he had never shaved the goatee he was required to have during his stint with the White Sox. Or I guess it could have been his 1-10 record in 2002 with the Cubs.
You may recognize him from the mound at Wrigley, or you ... Read More
Cedeno, Desperate to Avoid “Bottom 126,” Hits Stride in Winter; Cubs Surprised He Can Hit Anything
Posted On 29 Jan 2007 By Bad Kermit. Under: Uncategorized.
VENEZUELA--Cubs shortstop Ronnie Cedeno is hacking away in the Venezuelan Winter League, leading the league in several postseason hitting categories. Cubs general manager Jim Hendry is pleased with Cedeno's play.
Cedeno focuses intently on making contact with two teammates' fists simultaneously.
"Cedeno is really hitting his stride," Hendry said. "It's a good thing he started hitting before we were forced ... Read More
Baker Inks 2-Year ESPN Deal; Will Serve as Analysist, Therapist
Posted On 29 Jan 2007 By Bad Kermit. Under: Uncategorized.
BRISTOL, Conn.--Former Cubs manager Dusty Baker finalized a two-year contract with ESPN last week to serve as an analyst and therapist for traumatized athletes who have been booed in their home stadiums. Baker will be ESPN's first analysist/therapist.
Baker's new business card.
Baker's contract includes an out clause which allows teams interested in running young pitchers into the ground, constructing idiotic ... Read More
#115: Troy “Maybe It’s Because I’m Irish” O’Leary
Posted On 29 Jan 2007 By Bad Kermit. Under: The Bottom 126.
Was Troy O'Leary seriously a Cub for only one year? Because I could have sworn that I threw at least three seasons' worth of profanities at my television when O'Leary would come to the plate. When the Cubs signed a former Red Sox outfielder named Troy O'Leary in the winter before the 2003 season, for some reason I ... Read More
Fire Lou Piniella! Closed for Weekend
Posted On 26 Jan 2007 By Bad Kermit. Under: Uncategorized.
Loyal readers, I'm out of town skiing until Sunday, so Fire Lou Piniella! is taking an (un)deserved break. I will try to post Sunday, but I will at the latest be back on Monday as The Bottom 126 countdown continues. Have a great weekend. ... Read More
Cubs Release Rusch, Claiming He’s Been “Phoning it in” Since A Farewell to Kings
Posted On 25 Jan 2007 By Bad Kermit. Under: Uncategorized.
CHICAGO--The Cubs announced Thursday that they have released veteran left-hander Glendon Rusch, who missed the latter part of the 2006 season after suffering a blood clot in his lung.
Cubs general manager Jim Hendry stated that Rusch had peaked with his 1977 album A Farewell to Kings, and that he had "really gone down hill" since that point.
Because they're here.
"Have you ... Read More
Fire Lou Piniella! Takes Lazy Way Out, Links to Analysis of Offseason Improvements
Posted On 25 Jan 2007 By Bad Kermit. Under: Uncategorized.
I was sent this interesting analysis of the Cubs's offseason improvements from Beyond the Box Score. It's written objectively by a Brewers fan who predicts 86 wins for the 2007 Cubs. ... Read More
#116: Chico “Bad Penny” Walker
Posted On 25 Jan 2007 By Bad Kermit. Under: The Bottom 126.
I remember growing up having a Weebles playset that was basically a track for the Weebles. You'd set four Weebles at one end, and then start the track, which would shake back and forth, causing the Weebles to spasmodically move down the track. It was a dumb toy, but I enjoyed it. In one of the spring ... Read More
