Morneau Beats Out, Holds Off Jeter for AL MVP; ESPN Combines Two, Beats Off Jeter


NEW YORK–The Minnesota Twins’ Justin Morneau narrowly edged out New York Yankee Derek Jeter to be the first player mentioned in an ESPN article about how Morneau won the American League MVP award. Morneau was mentioned two words into the article, with Jeter being mentioned three words later.

“It was a surprise for me,” Morneau said. “I knew that I had received the MVP award already, which was great, but I expected the ESPN headline to be something like, ‘Jeter Congratulates AL MVP Winner.’ To have my name mentioned in the headline and the first sentence of the article was really great,” Morneau said.

“I don’t know what happened,” Jeter said, pausing his TiVo in the middle of a “Top Ten Greatest Jeter Second-Place Finishes” segment being aired on ESPN. “ESPN normally runs its articles by me before they publish them, and they didn’t this time,” Jeter continued, as an ESPN intern gently massaged his genitals.

Boston Red Sox slugger David Ortiz, who came in third in the AL MVP voting, did not even come close to overtaking Jeter or Morneau in the ESPN article, as Ortiz was not mentioned until the sixth paragraph. Ortiz’s snub was thought to be related to the fact that he did not come up big when his name was mentioned in previously-published important ESPN articles.