CHICAGO–Cubs manager Lou Piniella, who had recently been quoted as saying he expects his teams to “hustle” above all else, recently reversed his position as the Cubs signed third baseman Aramis Ramirez to a five-year, $73M deal.

“Maybe I was wrong about the whole ‘hustle’ thing,” Piniella hedged. “Sure, Aramis hit some long singles last year because he didn’t hustle out of the box, but, well…Scott Moore, for God’s sake,” Piniella stammered, beads of sweat forming on his brow.

The Cubs also signed pitcher Kerry Wood to a one-year, incentive-laden deal. As part of the deal, Wood was removed from the Cubs’ BlueCross BlueShield insurance plan, as he and fellow pitcher Mark Prior were driving the cost of the premiums through the roof.