Hire Jim Essian

This is for all of the people who happened upon this site by plugging "What the hell is wrong with Lou Piniella?" into Google.� Thanks to Webster, and also to George Papadapolis. Main Entry: de�men�tia Pronunciation: di-'men(t)-sh&, -shE-& Function: noun Etymology: Latin, from dement-, demens mad, from de- + ment-, mens mind -- more at MIND 1 : a usually progressive condition (as Alzheimer's disease) marked ... Read More

Now that Rothschild has officially been hired, I'm just putting everyone who figures to get blamed by me for the mess that is to be the 2007 season on notice. You're on notice, morons! You too, Jesus! ... Read More

CHICAGO--Lou Piniella was officially announced as the new manager of the Chicago Cubs Tuesday afternoon. Piniella has mentioned his desire to bring Alex Rodgriguez to the Cubs and to retain Larry Rothschild as a pitching coach ruiner.   What is your opinion on Rothschild, Lou? Once those plans are in place, Piniella hopes to bring back bellbottoms, segregated bathrooms, and the Dutch ... Read More

CHICAGO--With the hiring of Lou Piniella to manage the Cubs in 2007 and beyond, rumors have circulated that Piniella will bring back Larry Rothschild, who was Piniella's pitching coach when Piniella coached the Cincinnati Reds to the 1990 World Championship. Rothschild has been known as the Grim Reaper of young pitching careers since coming to the Cubs. Rich Hill, a ... Read More

CHICAGO--Five interviews and six hundred meals later, Chicago Cubs' general manager Jim Hendry's search is at an end. Hendry has sat down and interviewed five potential managers for the opening left after the departure of Dusty Baker: Joe Girardi, Bob Brenly, Lou Piniella, Pat Listach, and Mike Quade. The Cubs have announced that Piniella will be their ... Read More

"Fire Lou Piniella!" got an exclusive look at the transcript of Jim Hendry's interview of Lou Piniella. Enjoy. HENDRY: Thanks for coming in, Lou. PINIELLA: Thanks for having me, Jim. Well, now that we're done with the pleasantries, where is the f@#$ing waitress? HENDRY: No kidding. I'm starving. PINIELLA: While we're waiting, let's talk about this sh#$ty-ass ... Read More

CHICAGO--Cubs general manager Jim Hendry and former Cubs player and former Marlins manager Joe Girardi sat down on Monday and discussed the managerial opening of the Chicago Cubs. Hendry and Girardi met over lunch on Monday. At Hendry's request, the two also met for afterlunch, lunch at two, pre-supper, supper, dinner, afterdinner, and snacktime. A bloated Hendry said, �I�d say we ... Read More

VIA FIRST-CLASS MAIL 1060 W. Addison Chicago, IL 60613 Re: New Cubs Manager Dear Mr. Hendry, Please let this letter serve as a formal request that you make a decision soon regarding who you are going to hire as the new Cubs manager. As you are well aware, I have maintained the Fire Dusty Baker! website for some time now. Because of your ... Read More

Dusty Baker was released about four days ago by the Chicago Cubs, by my count. Joe Girardi was released about three days ago by the Florida Marlins. The Marlins hired a new manager, Fredi Gonzalez, who a lot of baseball folks project to be a pretty damn good manager, probably the second best on the market behind Girardi, ... Read More

Just so you know, Jim Hendry, I'm here, waiting for you to f@#$ up the hiring of the next Cubs manager. I already have several topics in mind, including: Bad Old Boy? Piniella Fills Out Lineup Card, Eats Baby Piniella, Boss Hogg; Separated at Birth? Piniella to Lee, "No Coloreds!" ... Read More